15-10-2018, 09:18 PM
11551
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
I’m glad you got home safely Sweetie, I hope your not coming down with a cold, got the sniffles myself, very annoying.
Curiosity killed the Cat, so they say.
Humans are far more curious than cats, and far more humans than cats get killed because of their curiosity, doing silly things like climbing mountains just to see what’s on top of them, pot holing in caves, racing cars at high speeds, and always generally poking their noses in where there’s no need. Also cats don’t care what’s on Mars or how black holes and dark matter work but humans do, so lay off the poor cats and lets put our own house in order first.
Women are more curious than men, I proved this to the wife many years ago after we disagreed on the subject.
To prove it I took an empty shoe box and wrapped it in gift paper complete with coloured ribbon and a little card attached to it, nothing written on it mind you. Next we went into our local pub, I got the drinks in and sat down at a table placing the parcel in the centre of the table, I left it there and the wife and me began to chat away, she was talking about a forthcoming wedding we were going to, and I was talking about the 3.30 at Kempton, all quite normal for us and from a few paces away it looked like we were deep in conversation.
There were about 20 people in the pub of both sexes, all were regulars. After about five minutes Vera the barmaid at the time, came out to wipe the table and empty an ash tray, the table didn’t need wiping and the ash tray was ash free, “I see you’ve been shopping again Phyllis” She says to the wife “Oh not me Vera, that’s Jimmy’s package” Vera hadn’t the nerve to ask me what was in it for I had given her an “I dare you” look.
Next up was our neighbour, old Mrs Flynn “Ah I see we’ve been spending in town again Phyllis, somebody’s birthday?” “I don’t know Mrs Flynn, it’s not my package, it’s Jimmy’s” Mrs Flynn was not put off by a mere look, she looked at me and continued “Is that for your dear old Mam Jimmy?” I looked her straight in the eye and said “No Mrs Flynn, it’s for my little nephew’s birthday, it’s a pet rat I got in Paddy’s Pet Shop, want to have a look?” She did not want to have a look and walked back to the bar. Not one of the men even bothered to look at the brightly coloured parcel on the table, I won my bet with the missus.
Sometimes a man has to go to extremes to prove to a woman that she’s wrong, but it’s worth it in the long run lads, the satisfaction is terrific.
16-10-2018, 03:49 PM
11558
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Originally Posted by gumbud
->
don't like the jeans but do like the butt!!
16-10-2018, 06:57 PM
11559
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
I love dr seussStop it! Stop it!
That's enough, sir.
I can't say
such silly stuff, sir.
Very well, then
Mr. Knox, sir.
Let's have a little talk
about tweetle beetles....
What do you know
about tweetle beetles?
well...
When tweetle beetles fight,
it's called
a tweetle beetle battle.
And when they
battle in a puddle,
it's a tweetle
beetle puddle battle.
AND when tweetle beetles
battle with paddles in a puddle,
they call it a tweetle
beetle puddle paddle battle.
AND...
When beetles battle beetles
in a puddle paddle battle
and the beetle battle puddle
is a puddle in a bottle...
...they call this
a tweetle beetle
bottle puddle
paddle battle muddle.
AND...
When beetles
fight these battles
in a bottle
with their paddles
and the bottle's
on a poodle
and the poodle's
eating noodles...
...they call this
a muddle puddle
tweetle poodle
beetle noodle
bottle paddle battle.
AND...
Now wait
a minute
Mr. Socks Fox!
When a fox is
in the bottle where
the tweetle beetles battle
with their paddles
in a puddle on a
noodle-eating poodle.
THIS is what they call...
...a tweetle beetle
noodle poodle bottles
paddled muddled duddled
fuddled wuddled
fox in socks, sir!
Fox in socks,
our game is done, sir.
Thank you for
a lot of fun, sir
16-10-2018, 09:10 PM
11560
Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)
Now from bums to tits, the winged kind that is, no smut here.I chanced me arm at the bird watching once, didn’t work out though.
The lighter green speckled Tit.
I was sitting on a rock in a field, ears cocked and eyes peeled
Couldn’t open me mouth, the lighter green speckled Tit was about
My only company was a sulking Cow, dejected after having a row
And creamy stuff dripped from it’s mouth, like the froth on a pint of stout.
I’d been there for quite a while when I broke into a rewarding smile
There it was perched on the Cow’s bottom, at last I caught him
Out with the camera and a sharp click, you have to be quick
At last it’s in the can, nice one old man.
I dashed home to show the wife, the idol of me life
“Nearly time for tea?” She was glad to see me.
“You look excited, what is it? did you snap the Tit?
“Yes, but I had to be quick, it was fast and slick”
I opened the camera to take out the film roll, but it dropped into a half filled bowl
Water covered it complete, disaster, utter defeat
I opened it up though all wet and soggy, the film was all blurred and foggy
I couldn’t make out a thing, except for what looked like a spot of green speckled wing.
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