01-10-2013, 02:14 PM
1
Those Advancing Years ...
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, "Mabel, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mabel answered, "I have? A suppository?" She pulled it out & stared at it. Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is."A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he's getting sentimental because they're celebrating 50 wonderful years together. He replies, "No, I was thinking about the time before we got married. Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he'd have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn't marry you. Tomorrow I would've been a free man!"
An elderly couple was attending a church service, about halfway through she leans over and says, " I just did a silent fart, what do you think I should do?" He replies " Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
One day an 86 year old man and an 83 year old woman were standing outside the nursing home casually having a drink and a smoke. After being outside for a while it started to rain on them. Suddenly, the man took out a condom, cut off the tip, and slipped it over his cigarette.
The lady asked, "What's that for?" He replied, "It's to keep my cigarette dry when I'm outside smoking and it starts to rain." The lady said, "That's a pretty nifty idea."
The following day the old lady went to the drugstore to get some condoms.
She walked in and told the clerk, "I'd like some condoms please." The clerk looked at the old lady, rather baffled at why she would need condoms. However, he asked, "What brand would you like, Madam?"
The old lady smiled and replied, "I don't care what brand you give me, as long as it fits a Camel."
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