Re: Jokes for blokes

I used to keep a racing snail. Someone told me if I removed the shell it would go faster. They were wrong though, it just made it more sluggish.

Re: Jokes for blokes

"Do you know the difference between you & mouldy cheese?"
"No darlin'...what's the difference?"

"Mouldy cheese does at least have SOME culture!"

Re: Jokes for blokes

Bloke goes to visit his mate. When he gets there, his kids are running riot and the mate says to the bloke

"Don't you ever have kids of your own".
"Why? Bit of a handful are they?" he says with a grin
"No, you're just an ugly bugger"

Re: Jokes for blokes

I got into a lift with a woman who had enormous knockers, “press one “ she said.......my case comes up next week..

Re: Jokes for blokes

Re: Jokes for blokes

Doctor..I have some bad news, you’ll really have to stop masturbating
Man “ oh my god doc, why”
Doctor “ because I’m trying to examine you”

Re: Jokes for blokes

My wife has her own taser
she’s a real stunner..

Re: Jokes for blokes

Several years ago a study by the British, was conducted into why the head of a mans penis is bigger than the shaft, at a cost of £1.2million and three years of researching, it was concluded that it was to give the man more pleasure during sex.
The French ,however, didn’t trust the research done by the British so decided to carry out their own study, after four years of research and a cost of three million euros they concluded that the reason the head of a mans penis is bigger than the shaft is to give the woman more pleasure during sex
The Irish didn’t trust either the British or French findings, so they decided on doing their research, after three weeks and £75 quid, the Irish researchers came to the conclusion that the reason why the head of a mans penis is bigger than the shaft is..to stop your hand flying off and hitting you on the forehead..

Re: Jokes for blokes

A tough army sergeant in Florida, was standing in front of a new intake of recruits
“In this army we need commitment “ the sergeant bawled, he went on “ I’m now going to show you what I mean” he then turned to an alligator laying in the sun nearby, provoking it until it ran at him and clamped its jaws around the sergeants penis, the sergeant waited for a full ten seconds before poking the alligator in the eyes and kicking it off
“Now” said the sergeant “ who’s ready to show me some commitment “.. one of the recruits raises his hand and says “I will, as long as you don’t poke me in the eyes”..

Re: Jokes for blokes