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09-10-2019, 10:06 PM
981

Re: Let's have a laugh

Please participate in this well thought-out poll.


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11-10-2019, 04:39 PM
982

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Mr Ploppy ->
Yes, very clever. It sort of makes one want to play around with letters and numbers.

I tried that word which starts with 'F' and
ends in 'uck'

Only makes it to 94%, 'Firetruck'.
Very Smart and creative! Mr. Floppy!!!
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12-10-2019, 06:53 PM
983

Re: Let's have a laugh

Not sure if I posted this previously - if so - apologies!!!

A tour bus full of seniors is driven down a motorway when a little old lady taps the driver on the shoulder.
She offers him a handful of almonds which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes she taps him on the shoulder again and hands him another handful of almonds.
She repeats the gesture eight more times. On the ninth time he asks the little old lady why the seniors don’t eat the almonds themselves.
She replies that it’s not possible because they can’t chew and eat them with their dentures and old teeth.
“Why do buy them then?” he asks, puzzled
The lady replies “We just love the chocolate around them”.
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12-10-2019, 08:57 PM
984

Re: Let's have a laugh

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus she noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.

The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The young man replied, Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, “The Double Mint Twins are coming” and I grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, “Logan’s Liniment will reduce the swelling”, and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, “William’s Big Stick Did the Trick”, and I could hardly contain myself.

BUT, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, “Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident”, I just lost it.

“CASE DISMISSED!!”
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14-10-2019, 03:12 PM
985

Re: Let's have a laugh

I’m at the emergency room. Today was not a good day. I decided to go horseback riding – something I haven’t done in a few years. It turned out to be a big mistake! I got on the horse and started out slow, but then we went a little faster before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go. I couldn’t take the pace and fell off, but caught my foot in the stirrup with the horse dragging me. It wouldn’t stop.




Thank goodness the manager at Toys-R-Us came out and unplugged the machine.
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15-10-2019, 05:07 PM
986

Re: Let's have a laugh

If only he knew!

Er, I think that sign says Cheshunt.


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15-10-2019, 08:07 PM
987

Re: Let's have a laugh

If't cap fits 'e mun wear it.
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16-10-2019, 01:44 PM
988

Re: Let's have a laugh

Wardrobe malfunction!

I keep telling Marge: this would not happen if you didn't have so many boots and shoes (to say nothing of handbags, coats, tops, skirts, etc, etc).

We'd been out for a couple of hours and she hadn't noticed.


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16-10-2019, 03:26 PM
989

Re: Let's have a laugh

Ooh, disgusting.


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16-10-2019, 08:52 PM
990

Re: Let's have a laugh

"Above Us Only Sky" is the motto of John Lennon Airport in Liverpool, a line taken from the classic song 'Imagine'
The baggage handlers motto is also taken from the same song. "Imagine No Possessions"
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