Re: Self-loathing

Being judgemental always puts you at risk of getting into trouble. Here or anywhere else. Unless you're a judge it's something that should be avoided. I've been guilty of it. I regret it.

Re: Self-loathing

where does having opinions end and judgement begin?

Re: Self-loathing

Happy to answer that question Annie. And I will take it seriously. OK..firstly on judgement and being judgemental. there is a difference between having good or bad judgement..and being judgemental. If you drink then drive for example, you are exercising bad judgement. You are doing the same thing if you invest in stocks that several credible financial advisors have told you is not a good idea. But if you think very carefully before you speak or if you insist on hearing all sides of an argument before you make a decision on which side you take; if you try hard to put aside your prejudices..say if you are a member of a jury – then you exercise good judgement. But being judgemental is putting yourself in a superior position to somebody else simply because you think you are a better, more worthy and morally superior person. Like forming an opinion on somebody’s character based on how they look for example. Having an opinion is just that. It’s your opinion. You own it. You can have it privately and not express it. Or you can express it. Whatever it is. You are free to in the supposedly open “society” of the OFF. It’s up to others how they judge it or if they get “judgemental “ about it. I guess the best way I can say it is it’s the difference between somebody saying..”You are entitled to your opinion but I disagree..and here’s why”…and…”You are a fool/ joke/ idiot etc. Your opinion is not worth @$#%”..etc etc. Hope that helps..This is all just my opinion. I’ll leave the judgements up to others. 😊 As I have said I have been guilty of being judgemental here. Some opinions I have seen expressed here have revolted me to the point where I have lost my objectivity. And I have exercised bad judgement in my reaction. I regret those occasions. I am human. Long answer I know but if I see a good question..which yours is..I think it deserves a decent answer.

Re: Self-loathing

You two are just trying to get a rise out of me.

(That was perfectly awful on my part ).

Thanks. Keezoy. My mother and I are the best of friends, which makes the slip easy as the forgiveness, and making her feel bad, that much worse. We have spoken twice since then so all is well.
Aren't we the fortunate ones, Rhian! Knowing what I know about you, I am not the least bit surprised by having such good relationships between all of you.

Re: Self-loathing

Hi

These things happen.

Your Mum handled it brilliantly, just carried on .

That is true love on both sides.

You are both great .

Re: Self-loathing

No they don’t but we are human so constantly make mistakes.
Forgive yourself already. Life is hard enough without our own self criticism. Let it go and breath in some tranquil peacefulness.

Re: Self-loathing

Perhaps rather a generalisation as there will be some parents who are not like that, my apologies. However, as stated we are susceptible to that most basic of human behaviour, making mistakes. Depending on the intent and severity of any 'mistake' though, plus what relationship that person is to you, means either 'forgiving and forgetting' or not as the case may be. The way we interpret another's comments also comes into it, so yet another of the 'human' side to us all has to be considered. Isn't life just so difficult at times!

Re: Self-loathing

Don't beat yourself up about it, we all say things we regret from time to time. I periodically lose it with my husband when he does silly things, which compromise his wellbeing. He has recently developed an inguinal hernia, to add to all his other health problems, and has been advised by the doctor not to lift heavy weights in case it strangulates. I go ballistic when he ignores that advice!

Re: Self-loathing

We were just trying to make you feel batter !

Re: Self-loathing

Hi

Loathing yourself is never good.

Learning from your mistakes is good.

It makes you a better person.


Suck it up and learn.

There is no way on Earth that anyone could describe you as a bad person, you are an inspiration

This is not a description I freely give.

It is reserved for a few and they know who they are.

It is not something reserved for those who agree with me.

I get some well deserved bollockings from them from time to time.

I learn from them, well sort of, I am still a Man