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It was another one of those sweltering hot days whilst the whole of the Country was having a mini- heatwave. Tanzi pushed open the front door and made her way to the kitchen where she filled the kettle in order to make herself a nice cup of tea.
Whilst waiting for the kettle to boil, she made her way into the rest of the house opening the windows until she reached the conservatory at the back of the house where she gasped in utter surprise, one of the side windows stood wide open!!

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..and standing inside the conservatory/sunroom was a tall thin man holding three of my prized rare ocre orchids. "Stay away lady. I dont want to hurt thee", he said menacingly in a strong northern accent.

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Evening Cherie. How has your day been.

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Oh dear are you having another one of those sleepless nights again Swannie? It's been a very hot day here and it's to be hotter tomorrow ........so been mainly trying to keep cool
Hope you manage to sleep the rest of the night , bye bye Aussiedownunderguy

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Tanzi opened her eyes wide and backed away from the menacing figure who she instantly recognised.This man was one of the travellers who had arrived with about a dozen gypsy caravans and who had made their encampment on the common land about a hundred yards from her home. Tanzi's husband Guy, who was working away from home at the moment, had advised her not to walk through the camp."They're bad news Tanz", he had said, 'Make sure you keep your distance"But Tanzi, hurrying to get home yesterday, had forgotten her husband's words and had taken the usual short cut right through the rows of vans, which is where she had encountered this threatening man in front of her. He had been stripped to the waist along with a much younger man, also similarly attired, as Tanzi was attempting to pass them."Ello, ello, what have we 'ere? I bet a pretty little lady like yourself is rushing off home to get into her tiny bikini"The man was laughing and looking at her, undressing her with his eyes. Tanzi dodged past him and ran away out of the camp followed by coarse laughter and now here was one of the men in her home! "Put those back", she cried" and get out of my house or I'll call the police!"

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You need air conditioning as UK/Europe is hotting up due to global warming. Stay cool Cherie, like me.

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No lady. Me dear mother wants one of these rare orchids. Refuse me and I and a friend will come by one night and ransack your home. We will also hurt your husband then have our way with you. So thee had better do as I ask.

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I roam the streets during a full moon looking for blood .

How do you manage to keep cool cheeky Oxfordshire lass.

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Tanzi's first thought was to let him take the orchids and have done with it but, they belonged to her husband, who would be none to pleased to lose them.So she decided to call the lout's bluff by pretending to contact the police.Her phone was in her pocket so with one hand she dialled the station's number and got just the man she wanted. She held up her phone just as it answered, "Fairvale Police Station P.C. Anstey, how can I help you?"
With that the lout dropped the plants, turned, climbed on the ledge stepped out of the window and ran off down the garden path.Tanzi continued to speak to the station, negoiating to buy two tickets to The Policeman's Ball.
Next she rang her brother who was a professional locksmith, told him what had happened, and he agreed to come round almost straight away to fit up to date locks on all the doors and windows.

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At that moment her husband Guy walked thru the front door and grabbed Tanzi and gave her a bear hug. Oh Tanz the police told me what you have been thru. That bastard gypo I will rip his ears off if he he comes near this house again