For the sake of the children

I had the pleasure of meeting up with a long time friend whom I had not seen face to face due to the restrictions, During our chat I sensed that she seemed rather 'down' To cut a long story short, it seems she and her husband of 30+ plus years had only been staying together for the sake of the children and now they are still doing that for the sake of the it grandchildren.

I feel so sad for her and wonder if anyone else has experienced this?

Re: For the sake of the children

It sounds to me that they are just looking for excuses to stay together. They will be claiming it's for the sake of the cat next.

Re: For the sake of the children

For the last 10 years of my 30 years of marriage, it was for the sake of my children.

I started to write here all about why and how it happened but those years have passed and it wouldn’t be good to churn it all up again.
My children are happier, my ex husband has remarried and l have had a really good life since too.

I think if you stay together and it’s just aggro and unhappiness, then it’s not fair on either of you.
When it’s gone, it’s gone.....

Re: For the sake of the children

When it’s gone, it’s gone.....

My thoughts too, Art, but she maintains they have a 'comfortable' life together, with no other parties involved.

Re: For the sake of the children

LT, If it suits them then that’s great and as long as there’s no rows.

I found that the bad atmosphere, the feeling of loneliness and the strain of it all starts to affect you.
You start to feel numb and you start to shrink within yourself. One day, l thought..... ‘This is what it’s going to be like for the rest of my/our life’.

Re: For the sake of the children

It's strange my neighbour always said she would leave her husband when the children left home the final straw being when he threw a kettle at her and it damaged the work surface in her new kitchen.

The children left home years ago and are rarely seen because they live in the USA, the couple now seem to get on very well perhaps the children were the problem

Re: For the sake of the children

I believe it is better to come from a broken home than to live in one - so, no, I would not stay with someone I could no longer love or respect just 'for the sake of the children'. In fact children are often more resilient than we give them credit for.

Re: For the sake of the children

As resilient as children may be, they also have a lot of problems in ways adults would not even think of, unless those adults are also from broken homes. What often seemed to be very trivial to me, my offspring have informed me was a very big deal to them, emotionally. None of what happens with children when marriages break down is helped when the parent with custody tries all ways to prevent any relationship with the other parent. That screws children up emotionally and there's nothing the absent parent can do to prevent it, even the Courts and their welfare officers will not help. The absent parent even risks losing any contact with the children, that is (or was in those times) quite obvious from the way custody was awarded.

Re: For the sake of the children

I agree, and have long since divorced....I am so much happier.

Re: For the sake of the children