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09-01-2021, 09:48 PM
1

How Many Americans Does it Take to Start a Car?

….with a push button start?

1. My mother looks for the key fob to the car and hands them to me.

That’s ONE person

2. I toss the key somewhere without thought and push the start button (because aren’t we all so cool and technologically advanced - but the car doesn’t start.

That’s TWO people.

3. The dashboard - ooh, sorry, I mean "Control Center ” - warns that the battery is low and to place the key up to the start button. I fumble around looking for the key, give it a go, but tthat fails too .

Time waisted but still just two Americans are needed .

4. I recall that there is a key in the fob. I fiddle around looking for something to open the thing, finally commit myself to sheer force, break a nail, and finally get the fob open….

Tick tick, tick goes the clock

5. Ready to insert the key, I look for the insertion slot but there is not one to be found !!!

Getting irritated at this point.

6. Reach for the glove compartment and after a few more wasted minutes find that the insertion point is behind a button tthat looks like this - and is nowhere near the expected location:



7. Attempt to pop the thing off….nails, coin, nail clipper, pen cap…it’s not budging.

8. Go back inside and ask my son, who happens to be standing there, if I may borrow his multi-tool. There is the expected snickering from him as to why I don’t carry tools with me, but at least a kind offer to help. I declined as this kind of task is good for me.

That’s THREE!

9. I decide it is bet to take the other car to go get new batteries. After scratching and scaring the fob to get it open and to identify the battery type . I go into the store and a woman asks me if I need help locating anything. I mention batteries.

FOUR, adding a kind store clerk to the count

10. I scan the display but, of course, no battery in the size I need.

At this point I am wondering why I never read any good books on how to put curses on car manufacturers .

11. I ask a worker if there might be any more in the back.

Ladies and gentlemen, that is FIVE.

12. With no luck, I am off to the next store where they have them in stock. In the checkout lane kind young lady behind the register asks me how my day is going. “Fine,” I lie, smiling.

That is now SIX people, five US dollars, and one lie, which puts my very soul at risk .


13. I go back to the house where my husband has since arrived, looking smart and crisp in uniform, while I look like I've been run over by a car. He takes over the rest of the operation, which for him takes only a matter of seconds, while I grumble over his should about men with their over-engineering and that we should henceforward only purchase sensible cars made before 1990. He shrugs his shoulders and makes the offhand but life-endangering statement, “It’s really not THAT big of a deal.”

SEVEN….well, assuming he lives at this point.

14. He and I go back inside, where he reports, “All fixed” to my mother who proceeds to gush appreciation - TO HIM .

The final cost and tally of using a push-button start?

7 Americans, $5 dollars, forty-five minutes, the consequences of breaking of a commandment, martyrdom when it came to my mother, and near murder charges for nearly killing my husband.

I just want my keys back.
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09-01-2021, 09:50 PM
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Re: How Many Americans Does it Take to Start a Car?

Are you sure it was your car?
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09-01-2021, 09:52 PM
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Re: How Many Americans Does it Take to Start a Car?

Originally Posted by Longdogs ->
Are you sure it was your car?
Hahahaha, yes, blast it. It was in the garage...

but as for mistaking the wrong car, I unfortunately have one of those stories too .

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Dextrous63
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09-01-2021, 09:54 PM
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Re: How Many Americans Does it Take to Start a Car?

This is fake counting.
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09-01-2021, 09:54 PM
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Re: How Many Americans Does it Take to Start a Car?

I do know what you mean though Surfer. All this technology is great until something goes wrong then it's a real PITA and something we could do without.
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09-01-2021, 09:54 PM
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Re: How Many Americans Does it Take to Start a Car?

Originally Posted by Dextrous63 ->
This is fake counting.
. Take it to the courts.
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09-01-2021, 09:56 PM
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Re: How Many Americans Does it Take to Start a Car?

Originally Posted by Longdogs ->
I do know what you mean though Surfer. All this technology is great until something goes wrong then it's a real PITA and something we could do without.
Yes...and I just want to twist the temperature and timer dials manually on the oven, while we are at it.
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09-01-2021, 09:57 PM
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Re: How Many Americans Does it Take to Start a Car?

You should have read the manual, Surfermum,😂🤣😅
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09-01-2021, 09:59 PM
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Re: How Many Americans Does it Take to Start a Car?

Originally Posted by Surfermom ->
Yes...and I just want to twist the temperature and timer dials manually on the oven, while we are at it.
i know what you mean there. The timer on my oven goes from 0 to five hours in seconds. trying to get it on 22minutes is a skill.
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09-01-2021, 10:01 PM
10

Re: How Many Americans Does it Take to Start a Car?

Originally Posted by pauline3 ->
You should have read the manual, Surfermum,😂🤣😅
Oh, I am surprised I didn't hear that from one of the males in the house. I did manage to get the thing out when trying to figure out where to insert the key. Admittedly, it was the only time a car manual was ever of any use.

What I should have done was call the wrecker service to haul the thing to the dump.

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