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JBR
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Cheshire, UK
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08-09-2017, 11:26 PM
351

Re: Jokes for blokes

A blonde walked into the doctor's office with a hole in her hand. The doctor told her that he was obliged to report all gunshot wounds and this was an obvious gunshot wound.

The blonde said, "Well, to be honest with you, I was trying to commit suicide, and first I stuck the gun in my mouth, but then I thought, wait a minute, I just had all that bridgework done, and I don't want to ruin it, so I pointed the gun between my eyes, and then I thought, wait a minute,I got a nose job not too long ago, and I don't want to ruin it! Then I pointed the gun at my heart and thought, wait a minute, I just had these boobs done, and I don't want to ruin them. So then I stuck the gun in my ear and thought, wait a minute, this is going to be loud..."
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Judd
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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09-09-2017, 01:07 PM
352

Re: Jokes for blokes

A lorry carrying a load of Smart TVs, iPads and laptop computers has crashed and overturned, spilling its entire contents on the A59 near the Kingsway Tunnel in Liverpool.

The Police have announced that the road will be blocked for at least five minutes.
Nom
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Northumberland
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09-09-2017, 01:55 PM
353

Re: Jokes for blokes

My pet mouse 'Elvis' died last night...

He was caught in a trap.
TessA
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UK
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09-09-2017, 04:44 PM
354

Re: Jokes for blokes

Tezza
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Kent
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09-09-2017, 06:46 PM
355

Re: Jokes for blokes

Did you hear about the dyslexic Yorkshireman who wore a cat flap.
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yorkshire
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09-09-2017, 06:51 PM
356

Re: Jokes for blokes

Originally Posted by Tezza ->
Did you hear about the dyslexic Yorkshireman who wore a cat flap.
Funny Tezza my kind of joke... daft
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JBR
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Cheshire, UK
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10-09-2017, 12:06 AM
357

Re: Jokes for blokes

Bruce (a different one, not the one on OFF) was driving over Sydney Harbour Bridge, when he spotted his girlfriend Sheila about to throw herself off.

Bruce slammed on the brakes and yelled, "Sheila, what the hell d'ya think you're doing?"

Sheila turned around with a tear in her eye and said, "G'day, Bruce. You got me pregnant and so now I'm gonna kill myself."

Bruce got a lump in his throat when he heard this. "Strewth, Sheila," he said, "not only are you a great shag, but you're a real sport, too." Then he drove off.
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Judd
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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10-09-2017, 02:01 PM
358

Re: Jokes for blokes

Nom
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Northumberland
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11-09-2017, 09:18 AM
359

Re: Jokes for blokes

What's the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot? One's a marsupial, the others a Geordie stuck in a lift.
Nom
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Northumberland
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11-09-2017, 09:19 AM
360

Re: Jokes for blokes

"How's the diet going?" I asked my mate "Not good" he sighed, "I had eggs for breakfast this morning" "Oh dear", "Fried?" "No Cadbury's"
 
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