"Friends" over family?

Here's the situation:

"B" - someone who has admitted he is guilty of criminal activity - has been invited to a family birthday. A couple of family members have decided if B is invited they will not go.

The hostess is shrugging it off, saying because B has not been charged (though he has admitted guilt) she doesn't care. She's making B welcome in her home knowing that some of her relatives are very uncomfortable around him.

Would you go? Would you try dissuading her from associating with B or overlook it?

Re: "Friends" over family?

I'd go, why spoil a party? if the hostess doesn't have a problem then there isn't a problem

Re: "Friends" over family?

It seems an insult to the hostess to argue with her guest list. I can imagine your misgivings but surely at a party you can avoid anyone that you feel uncomfortable with...

Re: "Friends" over family?

A difficult question Annie darlin'. I would think it all hinges on your own attitude to both 'B' and the hostess. If f'r instance, you have a detestation and loathing of what 'B' had done to an extent that it might impinge on your enjoyment of the party, then perhaps you may need to rethink your attendance. On the other hand, how close are you to the hostess of this party??? - if your absence would 'hurt' the hostess and potentially cause a family rift then your attendance is required, but as I've said it is your own attitudes that interplay here and none of us on the forum are qualified to give definitive advice without knowing your family circumstances intimately.

Re: "Friends" over family?

If I were the relative and thought a lot about the hostess then, personally I would say B - put my own feelings aside and go to the party

Re: "Friends" over family?

I think Uncle Joe is spot on with his post .

Re: "Friends" over family?

Yes I would but wuld leave my monny at home

Re: "Friends" over family?

Well it's not my family, it's the OH's sister's birthday and I don't see them much at all. He was shocked to find out some of them still consider B to be a friend. It's not a matter of theft or fraud or something. This man admitted to molesting his pre-teen daughter and has baby-sat children of friends. I'm sickened at the thought of it.

Re: "Friends" over family?

As it is his sister's party Annie, how does your OH feel about going/not going. I can see now that it is a difficult one and if everyone knows what B has admitted to, I think each person may have to come to their own decision about going and hopefully your OH's sister will understand if some people do not want to see him. I would say you and your OH could perhaps make the decision between you and and if you both decide not to go, let your OH talk it over with his sister.

Re: "Friends" over family?

I can see why some people wouldnt go, I wouldnt as it seems she is playing one lot off against another. She was silly inviting him as she obviously knew it would cause problems.