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Percy Vere
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Percy Vere is offline
Wilds and woolly wastes of Staffordshire, UK
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27-02-2021, 06:01 PM
2031

Re: Let's have a laugh

A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their sudden death.

The leader of the discussion said, "We will all die some day, and none of us really know when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event."

Everybody shook their heads in agreement with this comment.

Then the leader said to the group, "What would you do if you knew you only had 4 weeks of life remaining before your death, and then the Great Judgment Day?"

A gentleman said, "I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted the Lord into their lives."

"Very good!", said the group leader, and all the group members agreed that would be a very good thing to do.

One lady spoke up and said enthusiastically, "I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving God, my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction."

"That's wonderful!" the group leader commented, and all the group members agreed that would be a very good thing to do.

But one gentleman in the back finally spoke up loudly and said, "I would go to my mother-in-law's house for the 4 weeks."

Everyone was puzzled by this answer, and the group leader ask, "Why your mother-in-law's home?"

"Because that will make it the longest 4 weeks of my life."
JBR's Avatar
JBR
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Cheshire, UK
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27-02-2021, 07:07 PM
2032

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Percy Vere ->
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.

On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'
Brilliant!
That's another I'm going to tell someone... one day.
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27-02-2021, 08:09 PM
2033

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by JBR ->
Brilliant!
That's another I'm going to tell someone... one day.
But not your mother-in-law (if she's still with us that is).
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JBR
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27-02-2021, 09:35 PM
2034

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Judd ->
But not your mother-in-law (if she's still with us that is).
I'm afraid she is!
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27-02-2021, 09:56 PM
2035

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by JBR ->
I'm afraid she is!

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03-03-2021, 03:44 PM
2036

Re: Let's have a laugh

.....


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Percy Vere's Avatar
Percy Vere
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Percy Vere is offline
Wilds and woolly wastes of Staffordshire, UK
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03-03-2021, 04:52 PM
2037

Re: Let's have a laugh



Try this one ...


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03-03-2021, 04:56 PM
2038

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Percy Vere ->


Try this one ...
Groan...
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03-03-2021, 08:24 PM
2039

Re: Let's have a laugh

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05-03-2021, 06:08 PM
2040

Re: Let's have a laugh

The psychiatrist and the proctologist

This is wonderful. Enjoy all you wordsmiths

The psychiatrist and the proctologist Best friends
graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that in spite
of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.

Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist; they put up a sign reading:
Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors.
The town council was livid and insisted they change it.

The docs changed it to read:
Schizoids and Hemorrhoids.

This was also not acceptable so they again changed the sign to read Catatonics and High Colonics - no go.

Next they tried Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives - thumbs down
again.

Then came Minds and Behinds - still no good.

Another attempt resulted in Lost Souls and Butt Holes - unacceptable again!
So they tried Nuts and Butts - no way.

Freaks and Cheeks - still no good.

Loons and Moons - forget it.

Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with:

Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones - Specializing in Odds and Ends.
Everybody loved it.
 
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