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TessA
Official Poinker
TessA is offline
UK
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 21,857
TessA is female  TessA has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
05-06-2017, 09:06 PM
11

Re: Jokes for Ladies (Sisters' Revenge!)

Jolly good! You are now an Honorary (adj: conferred as an honour, without the usual requirements or functions ) Sister!
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Mups
Chatterbox
Mups is offline
Northamptonshire
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 46,083
Mups is female  Mups has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
06-06-2017, 12:27 AM
12

Re: Jokes for Ladies (Sisters' Revenge!)

A man speaks frantically on the phone:
"My wife is in labour, and her contractions are every two minutes"

Operator: "Is this her first child?

Husband: "No you idiot, this is her husband."
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Mups
Chatterbox
Mups is offline
Northamptonshire
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 46,083
Mups is female  Mups has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
06-06-2017, 12:34 AM
13

Re: Jokes for Ladies (Sisters' Revenge!)

A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."
May
Chatterbox
May is offline
SCOTLAND
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 8,549
May is female  May has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
06-06-2017, 12:36 AM
14

Re: Jokes for Ladies (Sisters' Revenge!)

What do toilet bowls, anniversaries and clitorises have in common?

Men miss all of them.
May
Chatterbox
May is offline
SCOTLAND
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 8,549
May is female  May has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
06-06-2017, 12:39 AM
15

Re: Jokes for Ladies (Sisters' Revenge!)

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

Breasts don’t have eyes.

Nite nite Girls
lovemyboys
Chatterbox
lovemyboys is offline
Canada
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 7,391
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06-06-2017, 12:46 AM
16

Re: Jokes for Ladies (Sisters' Revenge!)

A man passed out on the beach in Naples , Florida for four hours, and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to the front of his legs above his knees.

He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.

With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.

The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, 'What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor?'

The Doctor replied, 'It won't do anything for his condition, but it'll keep the sheets off his legs.'
May
Chatterbox
May is offline
SCOTLAND
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 8,549
May is female  May has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
06-06-2017, 09:04 AM
17

Re: Jokes for Ladies (Sisters' Revenge!)

Lmb...that made Me LOL....thanks for starting My day with a giggle Lassies,keep 'em coming
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Mups
Chatterbox
Mups is offline
Northamptonshire
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 46,083
Mups is female  Mups has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
06-06-2017, 09:23 AM
18

Re: Jokes for Ladies (Sisters' Revenge!)

A man asks, “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?” God responded, ”So you would love her.” The man asks, “But God, why did you make her so dumb?” God replied, “So she would love you.”
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Mups
Chatterbox
Mups is offline
Northamptonshire
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 46,083
Mups is female  Mups has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
06-06-2017, 09:37 AM
19

Re: Jokes for Ladies (Sisters' Revenge!)

A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"
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Mups
Chatterbox
Mups is offline
Northamptonshire
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 46,083
Mups is female  Mups has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
06-06-2017, 09:38 AM
20

Re: Jokes for Ladies (Sisters' Revenge!)

My husband said he wanted more space.

So I locked him outside.
 
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