Taking care of aged parents.

We received some sad news yesterday. My sister in law Rita is no longer able to look after herself and has been put in a home by her daughters. It seems the thing to do nowadays doesn’t it?

My own mum had my grandma living with her till the day grandma died but I must admit, when mum became incapable of taking care of herself due to alzheimers I found a residential home for her. If I’d had siblings to share the load it would have been different.

I think a residential home would be my fate too if ever I became incapable of caring for myself .. I just can’t see any of my kids taking me into their homes to care for me … Not sure I’d want it anyway!

How do you see your future when you can no longer cope?

Re: Taking care of aged parents.

In an ideal world I don't want to be here when I can't cope. However we all know that doesn't always happen. I'd hate to be a burden to my sons, so it would have to be a residential home. Can't say that appeals to me either. If I've lost all my faculties then it won't matter.

My grandmums lived with their families until death. That comes with it's own stresses and strains. There's no easy answer and I'm hoping its a long way off.

Re: Taking care of aged parents.

I think about this often-I have a stash of pills,but a stroke may buggar me.


I would love to change my will to say that if I cannot look after myself then put me down

Re: Taking care of aged parents.

I feel the same way ,ive given it some thought,and have decided on my ending ,i wont have family look after me,im too independent for that.,and being sat in a chair round the sides of the room in a home is worse than torture to me .

Re: Taking care of aged parents.

Yes its an awful thought Eliza. Although I can't see any other way round it than to take your own life - which also doesn't bear thinking about. No one knows how they'll end up and it's a scarey thought. Especially when you work in a hospital ward and look at some patients and pray to god you won't end up like that.

Re: Taking care of aged parents.

My gal I look out for - I realise now she would be better off in a care home, simply because she craves company now.
Unlike before the dementia, when she was out most of the time walking or visiting her elder sister. Now she's very reluctant to go out - which has been the biggest shock to me as she loves the sun. I hate her being stuck in that mouldy flat - but there's not a thing I can do about it - I think she will end her days here now - she is 87 soon .......

Re: Taking care of aged parents.

Patsy is there no way she would consider a care home? Social Services could take care of that.

Re: Taking care of aged parents.

I could cry when I think of it - before she was this bad, she kept saying she didn't want to end up in care and I assured her, she wouldn't. Now I see its the best thing for her. But, she would be very resistant and then of course the family would not take to it either for reasons of cost ........

Re: Taking care of aged parents.

I have my plans when the time comes, none of them involve going into care or having the young ones looking after me. Pills and bag over the head will be my end if I can do it myself. If not I just hope the law changes so assistance can be given.

Re: Taking care of aged parents.

Same here - definitely !