17-01-2014, 03:23 PM
1
Medical humour.
Going to the DoctorMy husband went to the cardiologist after experiencing symptoms of a heart attack. "I had taken our cat to the vet," he told the nurse, "and while I was there, my chest got tight, and I had trouble breathing. Later, my left arm began aching."
The nurse was clearly concerned. "So," she asked, "how was the cat?"
Calling It
Doing rounds, a new nurse couldn’t help overhearing the surgeon yelling, "Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!"
"Why does he keep doing that?" she asked a colleague.
"Oh, he likes to call the shots around here."
A woman told the vet that something was wrong with her dog. He examined the animal and told her the dog was dead.
"I don't believe you", she said, "I'd like a second opinion"
The vet said that would be fine. He went into the other room and got a cat. He put the cat up on the table with the dog. The cat sniffed the dog and jumped down. The vet then got a black lab, put him on the table and the lab sniffed and jumped down.
The vet tells the lady again, "I'm sorry, but your dog is definitely dead. That will be $600 for the exam."
"$600 is ridiculous, what are the charges for?" she exclaimed.
"$600 is a bargain," the vet explained. "$50 for me and only $550 for the cat scan and lab work."
3 Doctors are at a Convention talking Shop.
The first Doctor says: "I love doing surgery on Artists, they are so colorful: red Hearts, pink Stomachs, green Spleens."
The next Doctor says: "Me, I love doing surgery on Accountants, open them up and all their Parts are numbered, makes it very easy.”
The third Doctor says: "I love doing surgery on Lawyers, they have no Heart, they have no Guts and the Head and the Ass are interchangeable!"
Old age joke.
An Old man went to the doctor complaining of a terrible pain in his leg. “I am afraid it’s just old age”, replied the doctor, “there is nothing we can do about it.” “That can’t be” fumed the old man, “you don’t know what you are doing.” “How can you possibly know I am wrong?” countered the doctor. “Well it’s quite obvious,” the old man replied, “my other leg is fine, and it’s the exact same age!”
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