Attraction in the opposite sex

What do you find attractive in the opposite sex (male or female)? Do you go for looks? Are you attracted by someone who makes you laugh or feel at ease with?
With me, there must be some form of attraction to start with and develop into other things as you get to know someone.
I do not have a very high opinion of my self. I see myself as fat, ugly and often miserable. My partner tells me she loves me but somehow I do not believe her. I think she stays with me out of compassion.
I volunteer in a mental health recovery group and some members (male and female) approach me because they feel I am easy to talk to. Maybe my wife sensed this at the start of our relationship.

Re: Attraction in the opposite sex

Sacrificed too much, in hindsight.

Re: Attraction in the opposite sex

You sound like somebody I'd like to know Mr P. If people say you are easy to talk to then you no doubt are. That is a great thing to be. It probably means you listen and you are friendly. And that trumps whatever you look like. You probably look a lot better to others than you do to yourself. You wife is a lucky lady to have you and it sounds like she knows it. I am a "normal" heterosexual late middle aged male. I find a pretty face, a sharp mind and a sunny, kind and fun nature in a woman just as attractive as the next guy does. My wife has all of those. I don't think much past that. Go well sir.

Re: Attraction in the opposite sex

I agree Keezoy .....David you sound lovely.

I think as we get older physical attraction becomes less important we look more at the person and how they make us feel.... all my pals make me laugh thats important .

Re: Attraction in the opposite sex

Hi

I am very attracted to a lady who is no longer young,

No rings on her fingers.

She, like me, is quite reserved.

Walks her Bedlington past my house twice a day.

I am useless with ladies , not a chat up artist at all.

I will probably mess it all up.

Re: Attraction in the opposite sex

having worked with BT and going into very rich "as in oil sheik" rich and the not so well off the best thing I found was to be ones self. Don't pretend to be someone your not people quickly see you as a fraud.
as for what attracts? not always looks personality goes a lot further.

Swimmy why don't you just happen to be outside as she walks past with the dog and make some nice comment about the dog ask how old the dog is, where she got it from etc, that would break the ice. I guess if she is interested she would carry on the conversation, if not at least you know not to persue any more.
Have you every thought of the reason why she walks past your place twice a day?

Re: Attraction in the opposite sex

Attraction for a member of the opposite sex is unique to the individual. What one man finds attractive, the next man may have no feelings about her at all.

Take 2 famous women who are generally considered quite attractive: Sophia Loren and Elizabeth Taylor. Most men, not ALL mind you, find those two women quite attractive and sexy.
However, both women leave me cold. How this came about, I haven't a clue.

this reminds me of a conversation I had with a buddy some years back. He found the actress Salma Hayek to be the sexiest woman he had ever seen. I, on the other hand, just didn't understand what he saw in her.

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David you do yourself down I love talking to people who listen . I am very aware of people voices and their eyes .I like people who have smiling eyes

Re: Attraction in the opposite sex

I have to say that attraction, in itself, is purely academic these days. I have no need or even inclination for a relationship, so I just regard people as people, be they male or female. As such all I want is a pleasant, intelligent person who can converse on a number of topics, be it in the short term or the long term.

When I was younger it would initially have been purely looks, because I obviously knew nothing about the woman I was looking at. However, as I got to know someone, looks became less of a factor and intelligence and personality grew more important.