Re: Jokes for blokes

The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” I said, “If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate.”
He said, “Why? Is she a stunner?” I said, “No, she’s an optician.”

Re: Jokes for blokes

A woman goes into a police station and reports that a man has exposed himself to her.
The officer asked what happened, she explained "I was going to the shops when a car pulled over and a man beckoned me over to his window, he asked me for directions to the nearest post office, as I spoke He started grinning then I saw he had his bloody thing in his hand"

The officer could see the the woman was in some distress, he said gently "sorry I need to ask you, was he in a state of arousal?" She sobbed " no I think it was a Ford focus.

Re: Jokes for blokes

Re: Jokes for blokes

The wife phoned me, she's just filled the car up with petrol for the first time.

She said she can't get back in the car and it cost £4,500.

Re: Jokes for blokes

Good bit of advice!

Re: Jokes for blokes

Re: Jokes for blokes

My mate said he’s just bought his wife a 24 carat gold vibrator for her birthday.
I think he must be going soft in his old age.

Re: Jokes for blokes

I was feeling horny and needed some relief.

I asked my fat wife for sex and she said "No."

You have no idea what a relief that was.

Re: Jokes for blokes

I was really surprised by how much my wife enjoyed the new steam iron I got her for her birthday.

I'll never forget the ecstatic look on her face when she ambushed me and fried my face with it.

Re: Jokes for blokes