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17-09-2018, 10:32 AM
21

Re: The Me Too Movement and Me...and Possibly You

Originally Posted by twink55 ->
the problem is that rape hardly ever takes place where there are witnesses, so it is very hard to prove in court.... And of course any lawyer, that wants to earn good money, will use any tactics they can.

Most women will say they are too traumatized to go to the police, immediately after the event, but that is the best way to deal with it! If women want to get justice for what has happened, they must report the attack immediately and push their trauma & embarrassment to one side, just as you would have to do if you were stabbed or beaten!

I am sorry but i have no sympathy for women who report the rape later ( often after a few years), because they often have no hope of winning the case....and sometimes the rape hasn't ever happened.
If i was on a jury and had to decide whether the man concerned was guilty, i am afraid i would have to question why it wasn't reported immediately.

I fully support the belief that no means no, but if you want justice for the attack, you will get none if you need to take time to summon the courage to report it.

I applaud the ladies who did have the courage, because they are the ones who are making people take this crime more seriously!
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17-09-2018, 11:38 AM
22

Re: The Me Too Movement and Me...and Possibly You

I agree with Twink about the women who don't report rape when it happens.

Don't victims have to see the police doctor and be examined and perhaps have swabs taken as evidence and possible proof of the rape? I don't see how there can be any bodily evidence left if they go home, have a soak in the bath and not tell anyone for 10 years!

I can't imagine the emotions of these victims, perhaps shame, degradation, dirty, angry, fear, even physical pain and damage . . . all sorts of things, but they if they want something done about it, they must be brave enough to report it immediately.
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17-09-2018, 04:49 PM
23

Re: The Me Too Movement and Me...and Possibly You

Lack of understanding of what it's like for a woman is key here. If one puts one's self into the shoes of another, then one will stop judging the ones who did or did not come forward at the time. We cannot see this clearly if we only consider what "we" individually would do. Circumstances vary. Courage is individual. When the rape happened to me, I knew that no matter what I did, there would be no justice and I would be demonized. But if Dan, the guy who raped me was now being nominated for the Supreme Court, I would talk to my congressman or congresswoman and I would testify, now. It's all about the greater good.
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17-09-2018, 05:02 PM
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Re: The Me Too Movement and Me...and Possibly You

Originally Posted by Sage ->
Lack of understanding of what it's like for a woman is key here. If one puts one's self into the shoes of another, then one will stop judging the ones who did or did not come forward at the time. We cannot see this clearly if we only consider what "we" individually would do. Circumstances vary. Courage is individual. When the rape happened to me, I knew that no matter what I did, there would be no justice and I would be demonized. But if Dan, the guy who raped me was now being nominated for the Supreme Court, I would talk to my congressman or congresswoman and I would testify, now. It's all about the greater good.
Absolutely right

I find it quite extraordinary that some women seem to lack empathy towards other women in situations like this.

You see it with women having suffered years of abuse from their partners, only to have other women judge them and say, "Why in heavens name did she stay with him, I'd have been out of that relationship like a shot!".

You cannot judge others on your own experiences.
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17-09-2018, 05:13 PM
25

Re: The Me Too Movement and Me...and Possibly You

Originally Posted by ruthio ->
Absolutely right

I find it quite extraordinary that some women seem to lack empathy towards other women in situations like this.

You see it with women having suffered years of abuse from their partners, only to have other women judge them and say, "Why in heavens name did she stay with him, I'd have been out of that relationship like a shot!".

You cannot judge others on your own experiences.
Absolutely agree,everyone is an individual with individual emotions and varying reserves of courage and inner belief.
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17-09-2018, 05:26 PM
26

Re: The Me Too Movement and Me...and Possibly You

Originally Posted by aysa ->
absolutely agree,everyone is an individual with individual emotions and varying reserves of courage and inner belief.
Sage
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17-09-2018, 06:16 PM
27

Re: The Me Too Movement and Me...and Possibly You

Recently in the state where I live in, in the largest city, it was reported that sitting on the shelves in the crime labs, however it is they store this stuff, there were rape kits that were twenty and thirty years old. Why? Because the money that was to be used to investigate rapes was diverted to other things. Why? Because is was not a priority. "Real" crimes have to be investigated first. When I was raped there were no rape kits.

Money gets cut for other programs that help people also. I used to work in children's protective services. The funds to protect women, children and the destitute were always being cut. That was in the late 70s. It's the same now. Yet the case workers, who were radically over worked, and had more cases than they could handle, were always criticized and sometimes taken to court. It happened to a couple of really good case workers I knew when I worked for the system.
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17-09-2018, 06:26 PM
28

Re: The Me Too Movement and Me...and Possibly You

Empathy i have loads, especially for men falsely accused, and yes sexually assaulted by women, it happens its not just a female problem,m so lets raise the issues on behalf of all involved.
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17-09-2018, 06:40 PM
29

Re: The Me Too Movement and Me...and Possibly You

Originally Posted by Sage ->
Lack of understanding of what it's like for a woman is key here. If one puts one's self into the shoes of another, then one will stop judging the ones who did or did not come forward at the time. We cannot see this clearly if we only consider what "we" individually would do. Circumstances vary. Courage is individual. When the rape happened to me, I knew that no matter what I did, there would be no justice and I would be demonized. But if Dan, the guy who raped me was now being nominated for the Supreme Court, I would talk to my congressman or congresswoman and I would testify, now. It's all about the greater good.

I understand that women see these situations differently, but the more evidence you have and the faster it is reported, the more likely you are to get justice. There are quite a few women who claim they have been raped, when in fact it was consensual, but later regretted by the woman, who wants to take revenge.

The law has to protect both man & woman to avoid somebody being punished for something they didn't do.

These days girls drink too much & sleep with a man, but claim rape a few days/weeks later. If I had a son I would want him to get written permission before he had sex with a woman.... if we are expecting the law to always favour what the woman says, when she hasn't reported it immediately.
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17-09-2018, 07:11 PM
30

Re: The Me Too Movement and Me...and Possibly You

Originally Posted by Twink55 ->
I understand that women see these situations differently, but the more evidence you have and the faster it is reported, the more likely you are to get justice.
This is certainly true today.
But in years gone by? No.
Often you wouldn't have been believed, and if the case ever got to court the woman's sexual history would make a big dent in the chances of a prosecution.

Even today believe it or not, there are people who refuse to acknowledge that a sex worker can be raped!
 
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