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The Artful Todger
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The Artful Todger is offline
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29-07-2019, 10:51 PM
11

Re: Should we forgive

Well I NEVER forgive.

I either write a thing off be it a person or a debt or whatever -- or get even.

Usually I chose the former.
keezoy
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29-07-2019, 11:53 PM
12

Re: Should we forgive

I've heard some say "People can never really forgive completely . It's just not in their nature" Then again I've heard others - Mostly people who identify as "committed Christians" Who swear blind that forgiveness is the only way to true spiritual freedom and happiness - because Jesus forgave his persecutors because "they knew not what they were doing" so we should follow his example. Other religions seem to be based on revenge and retribution. Whatever. I follow no religion but I think it is useful to be aware of various religious teachings. But the secular idea of forgiveness is is a very hard thing to live by on it's own. I have to follow others here on that and just say it depends on what you are trying to forgive and how serious the thing is. I don't agree with most of what AT says here. Without moral judgement I will just say he appears to be the diametric opposite of everything I am and everything I believe in. But!..here I will agree. SOmetimes you have to just forget and walk away. Sometimes you have to write the association off altogether and just try to forget it. Or sometimes you just have to get even with the bastard. BUt finally I will say that the good part is if you can genuinely forgive somebody. It is a very liberating feeling.
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DaveA
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30-07-2019, 02:20 AM
13

Re: Should we forgive

It's often said, "I'll forgive but never forget." I think that may reflect my feelings when having been wronged. It also depends on how bad the transgression has been.
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Bratti
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30-07-2019, 02:53 AM
14

Re: Should we forgive

Originally Posted by Baz46 ->
Having been there it's from personal experience that I can say that if someone hurts you that badly and the result is deep emotional hurt, then if you don't forgive you are allowing that person to continue to hurt you, they are still controlling your emotions in that way. Hurt can also turn to anger but forgiving can prevent that from happening.

Forgiveness is not condoning the actions of whoever caused you to feel deeply hurt, it is more that it will free you from negative thoughts of bitterness and maybe later, anger.

I never used to understand forgiveness until I experienced what it was like to be unable to forgive easily. When I learned what it actually was I found a different way of life if you like. In no way is this religious as I am not but it was like a release from some really bad place and equally bad thoughts, allowing it to be far easier to deal with emotional feelings.

Around this time I also found out 'how we tick', that made me realise what happens to a person who doesn't forgive. It's all in how our minds and emotions work with each other. Something else I found out about was how not reacting negatively in any given situation prevents the other person from having control of you, they are powerless without that expected reaction. If you have ever tried to argue with a person who will not argue then you will know exactly what I mean.
I actually agree completely. You break the cycle of abuse by forgiveness and it’s done more for yourself than anyone else
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Bratti
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30-07-2019, 02:55 AM
15

Re: Should we forgive

Originally Posted by The Artful Todger ->
Well I NEVER forgive.

I either write a thing off be it a person or a debt or whatever -- or get even.

Usually I chose the former.
Yes and it shows.
You’re a bitter man. 🤭😬

Lol 😝
Floydy
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30-07-2019, 05:19 AM
16

Re: Should we forgive

People who can't forgive and forget are deeply narcissistic. Bearing a grudge is childish and those people should get over their issues and move on.
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Silver Tabby
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God's own county!
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30-07-2019, 06:04 AM
17

Re: Should we forgive

I could forgive - I could even forget - but I would never trust that person again.
spitfire
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30-07-2019, 06:40 AM
18

Re: Should we forgive

It is all about yourself, a proper shithole would not care if you forgave them, or not.
Lion Queen
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30-07-2019, 06:43 AM
19

Re: Should we forgive

Originally Posted by spitfire ->
It is all about yourself, a proper shithole would not care if you forgave them, or not.
True that spitty
spitfire
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30-07-2019, 06:53 AM
20

Re: Should we forgive

And,,,,,,,,,,,some would dispute they had done anything that required forgiveness, right to their dying breath.
 
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