15-03-2013, 02:45 PM
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Caring fror your alzheimers partner
Here's a tough one. I have a good mate in UK who's wife has developed severe alzheimers disease. Despite many attempts of advising him from friends and relatives he will not remove her to an OPH or elsewhere. He has chosen to care for her at home till death do they die!He now has no real life of his own and was a well sort after lecturer which he enjoyed immensely and the salary that he earned too. He now emails me and relates daily chores and dinner preparations which she cannot appreciate.
His life is simply devoted to her 24 hrs a day. In one way we cannot but admire him but he is now imprisoned in the same cell as his wife.
What would you do in the same circumstances?
15-03-2013, 03:10 PM
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Re: Caring fror your alzheimers partner
I would probally do the same until it got to a point where I was doing him no favour by keeping him at home ... or affecting my own health badly.My neighbour looked after his wife on his own with a little help from the village ... but one night she got out and dissappeared , it was a a terrible night as we were knocked up at 2am because they wanted to drag our large pond as she use to come and sit by it with me for tea when hubby was out shopping or doing chores and the night she went she had been talking about it to him ... so they thought she may of gone there by her self. thankfully not and she was found 8hours later asleep in a barn 4 miles away, in a terrible state cut to shreds from walking through brambles.
That shook him up and he employed a person to sit with her then while he slept at night so he could take care of her during the day. When she got to a point where she had no idea at all what was going on and couldnt even remember how to eat , he let her go to a hospital.... it took a terrbile toll on him in the 4 years it took from start to her death he looked like he had aged 20 years and had lost so much weight. Plus he went from a very out going funny man to a near recluse after her death.
15-03-2013, 05:14 PM
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Re: Caring fror your alzheimers partner
It is without a doubt a very cruel disease. It must be very difficult to watch a loved ones character and personality disappear over time.My son in law's grandad has recently gone into a care home that specialises in the care of people with dementia, after being looked after at home for years.
His wife feels guilty, but there was no real choice because he was becoming a danger to himself.
I would like to think I could look after my husband should this disease strike but I hope I'm never faced with it.
15-03-2013, 05:22 PM
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Re: Caring fror your alzheimers partner
Originally Posted by Alan Cooke
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To be perfectly frank I don't know what I'd do. Commonsense tells me that it would be better to put her in a nursing home but would I, could I do that. I just don't know !
Not sure how I'd cope with the anger, throwing things and personality changes. I'd like to think I'd cope for as long as possible but when the person becomes a danger whether to themselves or others...I just don't know.
15-03-2013, 07:15 PM
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Re: Caring fror your alzheimers partner
Its an awful disease and I have seen a few people I know go down this road. It is such a heavy burden on the carer. In the end the person with the disease doesn't even know their carer and that is the devasting thing about this. My Mum looked after my Dad for 10 years as he had a stroke. He knew her but she had to do everything for him even cutting his food. These long time illnesses are really heart rendering and I hope I go quickly and no one has to look after me. If I do get dimentia I think 2 bottles of gin will surfice.
15-03-2013, 07:21 PM
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Re: Caring fror your alzheimers partner
Originally Posted by Nobaggage
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I think most of us would do what we could while we could then when it was best hand over to people who can do better, but like Julie I think id rather just go quickly and quietly one night before it got to bad,
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