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Abbey
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23-02-2014, 07:28 PM
11

Re: girl freind

Hello and welcome



I would say nothing , he is an adult let him make his own decisions .
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Alan Cooke
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Northamptonshire, UK
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23-02-2014, 08:23 PM
12

Re: girl freind

I agree with the others, YOU don't have to handle it at all. It's his life, his money and his girlfriend. He won't thank you if you try to interfere.
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Pats
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Lincolnshire
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23-02-2014, 09:13 PM
13

Re: girl freind

Originally Posted by kimsy5 ->
Hi I am new and I joined because of this challenge I am facing. My 30 yr old son is finally getting married to a girl of his choice after lot of pestering from me. But he is spending an extra ordinary amount of money on ring for her and the vacation he is taking her to. If i ask or suggest, he just gets very upset with me . I dont know how to handle this
Hello kimsy welcome aboard.

Is your son living at home with you and is he intending to get his own place when he marries?
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Grumblewagon
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Aberdeenshire
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23-02-2014, 10:47 PM
14

Re: girl freind

In matters such as this, you should never listen to your parents. I'm glad I never listened to mine and I've been happily married for 40 years.

Let them get on with it, but make sure that after the event, they stand on their own feet (ie.. the have their own home and are financially independant.)
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24-02-2014, 12:40 AM
15

Re: girl freind

Originally Posted by Alan Cooke ->
I agree with the others, YOU don't have to handle it at all. It's his life, his money and his girlfriend. He won't thank you if you try to interfere.

I agree with Alan. What's more, if you're not careful, you might have him and his 'intended' getting resentful towards you.
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BowieEyes
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24-02-2014, 09:16 AM
16

Re: girl freind

Welcome to the forum Kimsy. Hope you enjoy it on here. You certainly will get replies to posts.
Having two sons of my own you can only bring them up to be good citizens
and hope they end up on the right side of the law.
Believe in your upbringing of your son and at 30 he should know what he
wants by now. Don't forget that in forcing him to do anything you will
be to blame for anything that goes wrong so let him go. Believe.
I would start getting some new clothes for the wedding day and make
yourself look great. That will give you something to think about.
If he is already buying her a rock then he must love her and if she is to be his wife then he will be spending money on her and quite rightly.
Hope you have a great wedding and feel good in yourself you brought
him up to be a nice lad.
Julie1962
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24-02-2014, 09:21 AM
17

Re: girl freind

Originally Posted by Grumblewagon ->
In matters such as this, you should never listen to your parents. I'm glad I never listened to mine and I've been happily married for 40 years.

Let them get on with it, but make sure that after the event, they stand on their own feet (ie.. the have their own home and are financially independant.)
That's a good point and we are 30 years in March despite opposition we have been very happy. So even more reason not to make waves IMO
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25-02-2014, 04:31 AM
18

Re: girl freind

For goodness sake! With the greatest respect, your son is 30 years old, halfway to old age, so hardly a child or a teenager, and therefore it is none of your business what he does either with his life or what he spends on a ring.

You give no clues as to why you don't approve of his girlfriend, which you evidently do, but a mature man of 30 years old will make his own decisions and if you interfere he will not appreciate you butting in on his life and will ultimately resent that.

If in the course of time he realises that he's made the wrong decision, keep the door open for him so that he can come back to his mum, but he's probably, at the age of 30, mature enough to deal with this himself.
seaspirit
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stowmarket suffolk
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25-02-2014, 09:43 AM
19

Re: girl freind

welcome, trust him, and pick up the pieces if nessesary
Moiramary
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Lincoln
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25-02-2014, 04:34 PM
20

Re: girl freind

Hi Kimsy and welcome to the forum. Let them get on with it and never say,
"I told you so". I t may be a mistake but that is how we learn.
 
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