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Primus1
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York
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22-06-2021, 06:54 PM
2301

Re: Let's have a laugh

I've asked my girlfriend to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub…

She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour!
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Judd
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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22-06-2021, 07:48 PM
2302

Re: Let's have a laugh

I just called the paranoia helpline.

Bloke on the other end said

"How did you get this number?"
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JBR
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Cheshire, UK
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22-06-2021, 08:01 PM
2303

Re: Let's have a laugh

Apologies. A very old one, but one that still makes me laugh.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Nicholas.

Nicholas who?

Nicholas girls shouldn't climb trees.
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Judd
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22-06-2021, 08:07 PM
2304

Re: Let's have a laugh

Transgender women in female games...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URz-RYEOaig
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Percy Vere
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Wilds and woolly wastes of Staffordshire, UK
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23-06-2021, 04:22 PM
2305

Re: Let's have a laugh

Yeah, Judd, that's enough to make anyone laugh. Talk about stealing Olympic medals from those that should be winning them?
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Percy Vere
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Wilds and woolly wastes of Staffordshire, UK
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23-06-2021, 04:23 PM
2306

Re: Let's have a laugh

On their way to the church to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident. Being good Catholics the young couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter finally showed up, they asked him.

St Peter said: "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out" and he leaves them sitting at the Gate.

After three months, St Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes" he informs the couple " I can get you married in Heaven".

"Great!" said the couple "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

"You must be bloody joking" says St. Peter, red-faced with frustration, slamming his clipboard on the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple".

"OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here. Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"
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Longdogs
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SW England
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23-06-2021, 04:26 PM
2307

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Judd ->
Transgender women in female games...

Brilliant! Was that Harry in the audience?
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JBR
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23-06-2021, 05:09 PM
2308

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Percy Vere ->
On their way to the church to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident. Being good Catholics the young couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter finally showed up, they asked him.

St Peter said: "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out" and he leaves them sitting at the Gate.

After three months, St Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes" he informs the couple " I can get you married in Heaven".

"Great!" said the couple "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

"You must be bloody joking" says St. Peter, red-faced with frustration, slamming his clipboard on the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple".

"OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here. Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"
Borrowed.
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Primus1
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York
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23-06-2021, 06:18 PM
2309

Re: Let's have a laugh

We were so poor when I was young, I once had my birthday party at the local launderette…

The highlight was playing Pass the Persil!
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JBR
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24-06-2021, 11:57 AM
2310

Re: Let's have a laugh

Jesus looked across the table and asked God, "Where have you been these last few months?"

God replied, "I've been all around Yorkshire".

Jesus was shocked. You've been in Yorkshire all this time?"

God replied, "Yes, son. It's Covid, lad. I've been working from home".
 
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