19-09-2020, 02:23 PM
41
Re: condolences
Originally Posted by Mups
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No, of course it doesn't, I agree. We can show we care in many ways, but that is not the same thing at all.Doing 'by action and good deeds' as you call it, is showing you think of them are willing to help and no doubt it would be appreciated.
However, paid carers also do that. It is not an emotional thing.
If someone you had known for years was only recently bereaved, and they held their arms out to you in a moment of need, would you honestly duck out the way and walk past them?
There are times when all I need is a hug, and someone dumping a bag of Sainsbury's shopping on the table - although welcome - wouldn't have quite the same effect.
I have had such meaningless hugs off people in the past. With their, mwah mwah pecks on my cheeks or the ones that aim for my lips that l avoid them. They are insincere and they do them because it’s the trend now and that’s what people do these days.
Honestly, isn’t it any wonder why people catch viruses and other things, or get cold sores.
I also said earlier, that l would be wary of hugging anyone at this present time
19-09-2020, 02:34 PM
43
Re: condolences
Originally Posted by Artangel
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I hug my own family and especially my own children. l squeeze them so tightly, you’d think l’d squeeze the stuffing out of them. I have had such meaningless hugs off people in the past. With their, mwah mwah pecks on my cheeks or the ones that aim for my lips that l avoid them. They are insincere and they do them because it’s the trend now and that’s what people do these days.
Honestly, isn’t it any wonder why people catch viruses and other things, or get cold sores.
I also said earlier, that l would be wary of hugging anyone at this present time
Again irrelevant to the OP.
No one has suggested for one moment this elderly chap was squeezed tight, kissed and given cold sores!
And I certainly wouldn't appreciate a stranger aiming for my lips either. But this is completely off topic.
Again I ask would you have walked past your friend if they held their arms out to you in a moment of need?
19-09-2020, 02:45 PM
44
Re: condolences
Originally Posted by Mups
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Again irrelevant to the OP. No one has suggested for one moment this elderly chap was squeezed tight, kissed and given cold sores!
And I certainly wouldn't appreciate a stranger aiming for my lips either.
Again I ask would you have walked past your friend if they held their arms out to you in a moment of need?
Probably before the covid-19?
I would prefer to hold their hands tightly and then release the pressure but still hold them and let them talk. This is what some people want to do in bereavement, talk about their beloved partner. To have someone to listen to them and share their tears.
Some of you are making me out to be uncaring and l am not. We all react differently but it doesn’t mean that we are uncaring or care less. It’s just some people’s way.
I did go on a Bereavement Course years ago when l worked in the Housing Dept.
19-09-2020, 02:49 PM
45
Re: condolences
Originally Posted by Mups
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Again irrelevant to the OP. No one has suggested for one moment this elderly chap was squeezed tight, kissed and given cold sores!
And I certainly wouldn't appreciate a stranger aiming for my lips either. But this is completely off topic.
Again I ask would you have walked past your friend if they held their arms out to you in a moment of need?
Mups, l have stated above that in most of my posts l am speaking generally.
You do things your way and l do things my way but it doesn’t mean either of us is right.
19-09-2020, 03:03 PM
46
Re: condolences
Originally Posted by Mups
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Again I ask would you have walked past your friend if they held their arms out to you in a moment of need?
This is my last post on this subject.
19-09-2020, 03:17 PM
47
Re: condolences
Originally Posted by Artangel
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Probably before the covid-19? I would prefer to hold their hands tightly and then release the pressure but still hold them and let them talk. This is what some people want to do in bereavement, talk about their beloved partner. To have someone to listen to them and share their tears.
Some of you are making me out to be uncaring and l am not. We all react differently but it doesn’t mean that we are uncaring or care less. It’s just some people’s way.
I did go on a Bereavement Course years ago when l worked in the Housing Dept.
I imagine been taught on a short course how to deal competently, sympathetically and yet at a distance as a stranger ( and minor official) to a distraught housing tenant might not be quite the same as a spontaneous hug to someone who is a friend or certainly more than a passing acquaintance.
Each to their own. Some people just aren't the tactile touchy type.
19-09-2020, 03:25 PM
48
Re: condolences
Originally Posted by Artangel
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Mups, l think you are being disingenuous and that you would be selective about who you hugged. Especially, reading your run-ins with some members on here who are unwell and could do with a hug.This is my last post on this subject.
What a very unpleasant and unwarranted thing to say!
What has a 'run in' with somebody else got to do with the price of fish?
You keep bringing up everything except the topic we were supposed to be talking about, so it's pointless saying any more.
Perhaps it is just as well you say this is your last post in this thread Art, as I don't want to feud, but neither will I be called names by you, when you haven't a clue what goes on.
19-09-2020, 05:17 PM
50
Re: condolences
Originally Posted by paula
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Two days ago I was told that an old neighbour had died, we lived in the same street about 40 years ago, she really was a lovely person. this evening I took a sympathy card and slipped it through the husbands letterbox, he must have seen me as I passed his window because he was at the door as I posted the card through the letterbox, he opened the door and held out his arms, and I gave him a cuddle, he just wanted to talk about her . After I got home It just struck me that maybe I shouldn't have hugged him, not with this virus doing the rounds, what other human acts of kindness have we supposed to ignore because of this virus...
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