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dinahsmum
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19-02-2016, 10:20 AM
1

The origin and history of the poink

I saw at least one other member, as well as me, querying The Poink yesterday

Could we have a short paper on its origin and history, together with the etiquette and the circumstances in which a poink is appropriate, together with who is permitted to poink?
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Nom
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19-02-2016, 10:22 AM
2

Re: The origin and history of the poink

Oh dear can of wurms about to be opened. Best i say nowt they are after me.
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TessA
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19-02-2016, 10:23 AM
3

Re: The origin and history of the poink

You can run, but you can't hide, Nom!

I shall prepare a short history of said Poink shortly, prepare to be amazed!
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TessA
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19-02-2016, 02:22 PM
4

Re: The origin and history of the poink

The Nobel Art Of Poinking
The first known mention of “Poinking” is in an account of the travels of that well known intrepid explorer and splendid personage Bingo Carruthers.
Late of the Bombay Fencibles, Carruthers in summer 1887 found himself in the African veldt, being pursued by around 100 deadly, yet colourfully - bottomed baboons.
Being a quick thinking, resourceful chap he ducked inside a hollow tree stump, which was large enough to conceal not only himself, but a large sleeping lion.
On being aroused the lion roared loudly at readied itself to pounce on young Bingo.
Ignoring the discomfort of soiling his jodphurs, Carruthers raised one sweaty hand, flexed his index digit and poked the angry beast soundly in the left eye.
The lion rushed past our brave hero as vent his anger on the baboons which quickly fled over the nearest kopje closely followed by the snarling beast.
On returning to camp, it was reported by his companions that the only word spoken by a shaken Carruthers was, “POINK” whilst raising a finger and making jabbing motions.
(It was later revealed that this word referred to the satisfying sound made when the poke was delivered.)
This tale has been passed down through generations of explorers and has resulted in the development of the self defence martial art, known as “POINKING“.
There is only one Official Poinker left now, sadly, many have tried to re-enact the scene of “The First Poink” but, failed. The craft is now only used in virtual situations.
It is left now to TessA to train those few novices willing to learn.
The main points to remember when attempting “A Poink” are:
Brace yourself
Flex your digit
Poink, straight and true!

All of this story is completely fictitious and bears no resemblance to any person or happening ever!
“Poinking” is a virtual poke in the eye, used to convey annoyance and should never be used in real life! (Especially on lions)
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TessA
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19-02-2016, 02:24 PM
5

Re: The origin and history of the poink

My poem dedicated to Bingo Carruthers:

Bingo Caruthers by Twiz

I’d so like a friend called Bingo Caruthers,
He’d be much more exciting than all the others.
He’d say “What ho!” and “Toodle pip!”
Wear trousers with buttons instead of a zip.
He’d carry a cane, sport a deer-stalker cap,
Wear spats so his ankles won’t show through the gap
Where his plus-fours end and his brogues begin.
He’d be neither too rotund, nor, neither too thin.
He’d shout, “Let’s be merry!” and stride ever forth,
Have a splendid brass compass that always points North.
When he takes of his leave with a loud, “Cheerio!”
All the rest of the crowd would cry, “Please don’t go!”
I would think to myself that my good friend Caruthers, such a reliable chap,
Will be back directly he’s finished his nap!
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Mags
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19-02-2016, 02:38 PM
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Re: The origin and history of the poink

Gosh Twiz, your subjects will be bowing at your feet after that!
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19-02-2016, 02:54 PM
7

Re: The origin and history of the poink

Tess, thank you for clearing that up


BTW, Bingo Carruthers poem sounds a bit like Boozercruiser - are they related
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Nom
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19-02-2016, 02:59 PM
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Re: The origin and history of the poink

Codswallop it all started at the OFF Christmas party, and as usual Lead by the Dark Mod M, things got rather out of control.

After parking their broom sticks the coven held a meeting to reaffirm to try and dominate the world. Not being as clever or strong as men they decided to try their luck with poinkers. Only the four Offers of the Apocalypse, could manage too lift one, and it was then decided to allow initiations to novices, after said initiation said newbies were allowed pillows as the poor things are just to weak.

Every now and then when the moon is full they decant to a dark forest, here they perform there rites. Dancing starkers round their handbags to the sound of YMCA.

Now this is a sight you must avoid, if you have curly hair it will straiten it, and if you have straight hair it will curl it.

Of course they practice evil and hate all blokes, and spend time chanting about separating men from their cash and sticking their poinkers (knitting needles) into voodoo type dolls.

Afterwards they need to rest so they retire to a cake shop for tea and battenburg.
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Pesta
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19-02-2016, 03:03 PM
9

Re: The origin and history of the poink

Nom, that's hilarious

Guess you're in BIG trouble now..
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dinahsmum
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19-02-2016, 03:04 PM
10

Re: The origin and history of the poink

Well I knew there would be a story but it appears there are two

Can we chose which we prefer?
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