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04-12-2017, 04:19 PM
21

Re: A Christmas Story

Here's Christmas story to get you started

Christmas Day in the Workhouse

It was Christmas Day in the workhouse
The merriest day of the year
The paupers and the prisoners
Were all assembled there

In came the Christmas pudding
When a voice that shattered glass
Said, "We don't want your Christmas pudding
So stick it
there with the rest of the unwanted presents"

The workhouse master then arose
And prepared to carve the duck
He said "Who wants the parson's nose
And the prisoners shouted
"you have it yourself sir"

The vicar brought his bible
And read out little bits
Said one old crone at the back of the hall
"This man gets on
very well with everybody"

The workhouse mistress then began
To hand out Christmas parcels
The paupers tore the wrappers off
And began to wipe their
eyes, which were full of tears

The master rose to make a speech
But just before he started
The mistress, who was fifteen stone
Gave three loud cheers and
nearly choked herself

And all the paupers then began
To pull their Christmas crackers
One pauper held his too low down
And blew off both his
paper hat and the man's next to him

A steaming bowl of white bread sauce
Was handed round to some
An aged gourmet called aloud
"This bread sauce tastes like
it was made by a continental chef"

Mince pie with custard sauce was next
And each received a bit
One pauper said "The mince pie's nice
But the custard tastes like
the bread sauce we had in the last verse !"

The mistress dishing out the food
Dropped custard down her front
She cried "Aren't I a silly girl"
And they answered "You're a
perfect picture as always ma'am !"

"This pudding ", said the master
"It's solid, hard and thick
how am I going to cut it ?"
And a man cried "Use your
penknife sir, the one with the pearl handle"

The mistress asked the vicar
To entertain his flock
He said "What would you like to see ?"
And they cried "Let's see your
conjuring tricks, they're always worth watching"

"Your reverence may I be excused ?"
Said one benign old chap
"I don't like conjuring tricks
I'd sooner have a
carol or two around the fire"

So then they all began to sing
Which shook the workhouse walls
"Merry Christmas!" cried the master
And the inmates shouted
"Best of luck to you as well sir !"
Sweetie pie
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04-12-2017, 05:07 PM
22

Re: A Christmas Story

May I come, please.
Sorry, but I will be getting drunk with the boys.
Can we do a panto or a Nativity play as well?
I will write the script.
I'll get Fruity to bring his donkey.
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04-12-2017, 06:09 PM
23

Re: A Christmas Story

You are welcome to come Sweetie Pie, but it is a train remember, so there is no stage for plays and donkeys I'm afraid. Apart from it would be a little cruel for the poor donkey rattling about on a train, he would poo all over the carriage too!
So no scripts please, then everybody can contribute.


I think there is going to be enough of us now to book the seats, so that is excellent. I will find out departure times and dates and make sure we stop at sufficient stations to pick you all up.

Will let you know the departure date as soon as I have booked, so you can get packing your bobble hats and thermals.

I'll post the departure times a.s.a.p.
Coo, I'm looking forward to this.





(Judd, don't forget your Long Johns, and Nom - leave your string vest at home, there's a good chap.).

P.P.S. Sshh - Twink, like your idea about the registrar. Can I leave that to you to arrange please? Not a word to Nommy anybody.
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04-12-2017, 06:15 PM
24

Re: A Christmas Story

A ticket for me please.

I wasn't here last year and I'd love to join you all on a magical mystery tour.
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04-12-2017, 06:26 PM
25

Re: A Christmas Story

Where are you going this year Mups .... North Pole? If so Nom will need something warmer than his string vest this time
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04-12-2017, 07:00 PM
26

Re: A Christmas Story

Originally Posted by Mups ->


P.P.S. Sshh - Twink, like your idea about the registrar. Can I leave that to you to arrange please? Not a word to Nommy anybody.
You are right Mups, Nommy won't find out till the train is moving.

Originally Posted by Leia ->
A ticket for me please.

I wasn't here last year and I'd love to join you all on a magical mystery tour.
You will love it Leia.....we are even occasionally nice to the men.

Originally Posted by Mags ->
Where are you going this year Mups .... North Pole? If so Nom will need something warmer than his string vest this time
Nom will have Mups, Mags.......... she is really hot!
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04-12-2017, 07:02 PM
27

Re: A Christmas Story

Originally Posted by Mags ->
Where are you going this year Mups .... North Pole? If so Nom will need something warmer than his string vest this time


Not sure where we are going yet Mags, as the brochure just said "A Festive Trip to Remember." But it was a very sparkling, snowy scene, with millions of stars twinkling and a big moon, and lots of Christmas trees growing in the distance.



I shall keep a seat for you next to Nom, and perhaps you can see he doesn't escape this year.
Oh yes, I agree about the string vest too - so unbecoming for his nuptuals don't you think.
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04-12-2017, 07:03 PM
28

Re: A Christmas Story

Originally Posted by Twink55 ->
You will love it Leia.....we are even occasionally nice to the men.
It won't be easy but I'll try my very best
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04-12-2017, 07:07 PM
29

Re: A Christmas Story

[quote=leia;1288399]it won't be easy but i'll try my very best [/quote



We know you will Leia, don't worry, we'll get you some christmas spirit (nod nod, wink wink), and you will be fine.

Must dash now, or I'll be too late to get the tickets.

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04-12-2017, 07:10 PM
30

Re: A Christmas Story

Originally Posted by Mups ->
We know you will Leia. We will get you some 'christmas spirit' (nod nod, wink wink ), that will help you along.
Thanks Mups. My favourite tipple is vodka and tonic
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