The Main Feature

The small group had chosen to sit girl-boy-girl-boy, about three quarters of the way back from the large cinema screen.

Jude and Jon were siblings. They got on well but had decided to sit apart so their two friends Phil and Lyn could sit between them. All four had left school, and had already left home or were about to in order to attend college or university. As a result, their holidays were one of the few occasions when they could all get together.
They didn’t know it at the time, but within a year they would be scattered across the country, never to meet as a group of four again.

Shortly after settling into their seats, a group of noisy teenage girls arrived and sat in the middle of the auditorium a few rows in front of the four. One of these girls was particularly noisy and very annoying. Immediately she set up a constant inane chatter.
She commented on the décor, the lighting, the seats, the doors, other people arriving; in fact nothing escaped her banal words.
When the lights dimmed, she called out, “Ooh the lights have gone out”. When the adverts started, she commented on every item being shown, and the people showing them.
Other viewers were becoming restless and muttering about the annoying girl.

When the title for the main feature appeared, she called out in a ridiculously mock surprised and questioning voice, “Jaws?”

By this time Phil, who at twenty-one, was the old man of the group had had enough and shouted back, “YES, LIKE YOU’VE GOT!”

Well, that started an uproar. Everyone across the cinema for several rows forwards and back burst out laughing and clapping.




And that my friends is how I managed to stop a loud mouthed teenager from spoiling an afternoon at the cinema.

Re: The Main Feature

Observations are made in the moment, in my experience (shallow as it may be), A pretty loud mouthed Girl spouting would have been considered artistic licence, where as, a lesser physically gifted young lady, would have been considered a loud mouthed Trollope, just goes to show, how shallow perceptions are, based on iconography.

Re: The Main Feature

So few Spotless folks went onto Great expectation, that is strange, so few climbed the mountain.