Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

All the health and economy experts are lining up on TV these days to tell us all what to do during this crisis, but are they really experts? What is a true expert?

Definition of EXPERT
“One with the special skill or knowledge representing mastery of a particular subject”

The key word there is “Mastery”

In my opinion the whole ‘expert’ system needs to be revised urgently, the expert market is overrun with Mickey Mouse professors and chancers, now more than ever with the internet.

I was looking at a young chap on TV described as an expert in technology explaining the way a smart TV works to a potential customer, he knew about how to stick in the connections, switch it on and off and how to tune it in, but so does almost everyone else, there is nothing expert or masterly about that.
Big electrical shops will ask you in their ads to consult “one of our experts” in the shop, well in one particular well known electrical shop I used to use (now gone and no loss either), the experts must have been on permanent holidays because all I ever got were ordinary counter hands with minimal knowledge of the products they sell, and I don’t blame them, I blame their employers for not training them properly and then expecting too much from them while paying them buttons.

Expert is a very big word to my way of thinking, the top of the game, he who knows all in his field, to be the best at what one does, not just to give one the impression that you are the best.
I think the danger here lies in the way the general public take the word of these people as gospel and wouldn’t dream of questioning them, “Professor Plum told me all about it and he’s an expert, he knows it all, end of story” Then when things don’t turn out right all the experts disappear, gone to ground, not available for comment, etc.

Bearing in mind that nobody is infallible I think the bottom line is never declare yourself an expert until you’ve proved in the field that you are expert.

Maybe they could start to grade expert status. For instance, a grade A expert, then a grade B,C, and so on, with possibly an F for the chap who just makes the tea. Fat chance methinks, not doubt it would only be the same ‘experts’ grading their pals in a closed shop situation.

Yes I can truly say I’ve had me belly full of experts lately, especially since this coronavirus thing, wear a mask, don’t wear mask, for Christ’s sake they can’t even agree on a simple thing like that.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

An Expert would not work in a TV Shop for less than £100.00 per hour, now that is a fact.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Indeed Spitty, a true expert, and on who’s word you can rely as in the old days, is worth every penny of it.

I always admired those lucky people who could get into some of those jobs where one can get lost in, jammy jobs, you know the type of employment, usually government, where clocking in and out on time are the most important parts of the ‘work’ day.

You clock in, then you get a cup of tea before you sit down to ‘work’, then you tell your workmates all about what happened to you last night, that brings you up to the morning tea break, more chat and if anyone in authority happens by you use the new gift you have acquired from observing your fellow ‘workers’, the art of appearing to be doing something whilst actually doing nothing, that’s not to be sniffed at, it’s quite a hard trick to master for a beginner, but once mastered you’re away in a hack.
Nice work if you can get it, and the only time you’re noticed is when your not there.
All you got to do is hang on in there and at the end of it you’ll receive a handsome reward in the form of a generous government pension.

My younger brother had one of those jobs in a government dept. never done a hands turn all through his working life and came out with a fat pension at 60, while the rest of us mugs had to wait until we were 65.

Ah well could be worse, like these poor chaps.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

It ain't a bad shout, being a Mug, you will always get by (Thanks to the Capitalists) and being a Jug is OK, unless your name is Toby.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

I had my first pint in a pub called the Toby Jug in Sth. Kings St. many many years ago, got as sick as a dog after it, it must have been a depth charger (stale beer, usually left lying overnight, then topped up to look the part) .


“Pulling the wool over your eyes”
Or, as Clint Eastwood so crudely put it “Don’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining”
I have always wondered where that expression came from. Here’s an interesting short piece I dug up about it’s possible origin, the sheep's own wool growing over their eyes and impairing vision.
This chap is writing in to a publication called “The New England Farmer” in 1838, a nice simple letter explaining a lot and showing concern for animal welfare, fair play to you John I say.


WOOL OVER THE EYES.
Dear Mr. Tucker—Since I have commenced giving an account of my experience and observations relative to wool growing, I thought it might be well to mention one other obstruction that impedes the comfort and takes the lives of sheep. Although I see there are many close observers that write for the Farmer, they have as yet neglected to urge the necessity of examining the eyes of sheep. I have frequently discovered sheep with their eyes shut, or mostly so. On examination, I find the hair that grows about the eyes, to be turned into the eye. Lambs in the winter, before they are a year old, are the most troubled; those that have the most wool about the head are the most liable. I have yearly to shear the faces of fifty to seventy that get into that situation, and open their eyes and cut out the hair. Some sheep become perfectly blind, dwindle and fail. There are many instances among old sheep of high blood. It requires the greatest care to open the eye, and with a sharp shears cut the hair close. This is not only the case with my sheep, but I have frequently passed the flocks of others that were tormented in the same way.
John Spicer, East Barrington, Yates Co. March 10, 1838.


My God!, the poor sheep, I hope that problem is well and truly solved for the unfortunate creatures.

Yeats county is Sligo as far as I know.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

I do like hammers, they have so many uses and the specially designed types often have me puzzled.
My son sent these three hammers over to me (below) to see could I tell him what they are for, to be honest I haven’t a clue but rather than send him away empty handed, I offered him my full fatherly Irish logical answers, God help him if he heeds me.

The first is actually an antique and was rescued from an old miser’s jewellery workshop, he was as tight as a drum so he hired two goldsmiths to work next to each other, one chap was right handed and he used the right handle, and the other lad was left handed and used the other handle, only one hammer needed to be purchased.

The next one has a magnetic head and was used by a brilliant upholstery worker, not only could he hold a mouthful of tacks, but he could also fill his right ear with tacks as well (he had exceedingly big ears, God bless the mark), enabling him to take out two tacks at a time and bang them home, by the way, his record was to upholster 43 sofas in a normal working day.

The last hammer is easy, it’s a ceiling hammer and when you’re up on the step ladder, your hands are tired and your arms are heavy and you think you’ll never get down, well with the ceiling hammer you can switch from hand to hand without letting go the handle and dropping the hammer on the wife’s skull below you, that could disrupt all your plans for the rest of the evening.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Sorry, Hammers involve nails, not sure which I'd rather be.
Give me a screw, every time, it is undoable but then again, it ain't.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Screws are good, but there are so many different heads these days you'd need a dozen screwdrivers.
For a non permanent quick job like the flower boxes I've done for the wife, I prefer the hammer and nails way, far easier to remove when taking it apart after it eventually gives in to the soil in it and the Irish weather.
I have often heard construction folk refer to a hammer as “The American Screwdriver” never quite understood why.

I love some of the reviews they post on aliexpress the Chinese shopping site, I buy a lot of my shirts there, once you get the size correct it’s plain sailing from there on.
As I typed a favourable review I noticed this one above it from a chap in Mexico.

“The shirt is well sawn. Buttons are bright and firmly sawn. With the size you need neatly-this model for tin people. Since I'm slim, I sat perfectly on me. 13 Mar 2020 12:09”

Yeh just have to giggle, have you ever tried sawing a shirt in half? It’s akin to pushing a car up a hill with a rope, and how does one sit on oneself one wonders?.


There was an unusual item on the Antique Road Trip the other day, the wife loves these antique shows.
Anyway the item in question was a beautiful wooden box inlaid with ivory decor and with a red leather handle attached, inside were some empty bottles of different sizes and one or two brushes, the expert at the auction described it as a “Travelling toilet case”
I was confused and turned to the wife, hoping she could deconfuse me.
“Tell me dear woman, how do you suppose they managed to fit a toilet into that little wooden box?, and why would someone taking a trip want to bring a toilet with them?”

Not to worry, Donavan has the answer for travellers with that problem in this seldom heard 1970’s “B” side recording.
“If shitting is your problem when your up there in the stars, the intergalatic laxative will get you from here to Mars?

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

sounds like it was Touch and Go when Donovan recorded that. A Shit a day, helps you work rest, and play.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Gummy would have liked that one.