Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Thanks for the "Heads-Up" Jembo, being the Eternal Auditor I am, just done a quick calculation. At present the post rate is nine per day, to go the the distance with precision and etiquette, this needs to drop to roughly 2.143884892086331 better keep an eye on the quality of these posts, and make sure they are Carbon Neutral.

(They may be recycled further down the line)



EDIT

Let the "Weaning" begin.

(Just did this to see if an edit equals a BOGOF)

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

I heard a couple of John Wayne stories a while back.

He was given part of a script to read. It went like this.

"To be, or not to be, that is the question.

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind ...

Who wrote this sh1t?"


The other was told by Cilla Black about a radio 'phone in quiz in Liverpool. All of the following dialogue was in a strong Liverpudlian accent.

The radio host was a chap called Billy. After each question it had become the habit for contestants to say, "Giz a clue, Billy. Giz a clue", and Billy would give a clue.

One of the questions was about a Western, and the answer was obviously John Wayne. Well, obvious to people like you and me anyway.
The contestant of course said, "Giz a clue Billy. Giz a clue", and Billy replied in a John Wayne drawl, "The Hell I Will."

The contestant replied in a very upset manner, "Aw that's not fair Billy. You gave everyone else a clue, why won't you give me one as well."


Cilla then related another story about the same 'phone in show. Billy asked the question, "Who sang the hit song, The Lion Sleeps tonight?"
The contestant, of course, said, "Giz a clue Billy, Giz a clue."
Billy replied to the female contestant, "Think of your husband's underpants."
The answer was, Tight Fit, but instead the lady replied, "Oh, The Dooleys."

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

You’re welcome anytime Spitty.
I have learned the hard way that some wives are very suspicious of something they are not involved in, they will glean what they can from what they know of it and use it to their advantage, curiosity, it’s all quite natural.

Loved those funny tales Fruity.
Who remembers him in ”The Greatest Story Ever Told” as a Roman soldier standing beneath the cross at Christ’s cruxifixction, his only line and delivered with an American accent was “Truly, this man was the Son of God."

There once was a cowboy called Wayne
Who got lost in the great open plain
Then a buffalo stampede, crushed him and his steed
Parting his soul from his brain.

He looks a proper nana here.
You can see the white mark on his wrist where his watch was in this photo, begorra! is that a shillelagh in his right hand? left over from doing “The Quiet Man” in County Mayo.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Now maybe you geezers can help me here - tryin ta get a hang of the bleedin railway system yuz got over there - it's seem to be gettin a bit of a bashin on one thread but my favorite show is " great british railway journeys" with fancy pants Michael Portillo as he jazzers all over GB! but the system seems to be always on time - runs like clockwork - super clean and all the staff so pleasant - although I ain't seen him in the bar area having a bevvy or two?

so to us outsiders it looks like yuz got an immaculate system to goes hither and thither all over and even includes Scotland' Wales and Ireland - wot a wizzer heh! It's not all a big con is it mateys?? don't spoil the dream - we have already had John Wayne defrocked!! the big woozer!

and to make it even more bizzare wasn't he one of the guys to close a lot down?

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Before lockdown I used the GWR to get to Bristol and back a couple or three times a month.

The trains were nearly always late by anywhere between a minute or two and half an hour.
Strange how the Japanese have a 15 second arrival/departure window, and were trying to reduce this to 7 seconds.

They were generally clean enough but not spotless on the local stopping service, but if I was lucky enough to pick up say the London to Penzance express, you got a much newer, nicer, cleaner train. The downside was that is was more crowded, although I never travelled at peak times.

The staff on the trains were always friendly and helpful in my opinion.

Recently though cracks have been found in the Hitachi made high speed hybrid trains on the GWR, and had to be taken out of service for inspections.

These are overhead electric ready, but have diesel engines as well to run on non electrified sections.


Part of the problem here is that our lines are so old, and the distance between stations is relatively short. Unless a new high speed route is built, such as the Chunnel and the much heralded/maligned HS2, there is little opportunity to speed up what we have got.

One of the biggest problems is the number of level crossings. There is a programme at the moment to build bridges to bypass many of these. My niece's husband is working on that problem.

My nephew is a senior railway engineer and at one point was involved in the work required to add an extra carriage to one of the London underground lines. A simple task you might think, but this meant that the driver had to stop with the cab in the tunnel past the end of the station platform. This meant signals had to be moved and updated as well as audio-visual comms'.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Methinks the big switch over to drinking spring water rather than beer in the pubs and elsewhere is becoming a problem, greed again, well they can’t blame me for that one, I never drink water, fish shit in it as W.C. Fields once said.
Seems the environment is suffering from the billions of litres of water being extracted from the Volvic region of France and exported all over the World. It’s all drying up fast.

“Since 2014, the government has allowed Danone to bottle up to 2.8 million cubic metres a year, or 2.8 billion one-litre bottles.
That translates into an extraction of nearly 89 litres per second from the Volvic water table, compared with just 15.6 litres when bottling operations first began in 1965.
The government's top official for the region, Philippe Chopin, told a parliamentary commission in April that "environmental conditions, in particular drought, caused a drop in the aquifer that we do not believe can be blamed" on Volvic's extractions.
His assertions were rejected by many in Volvic, where the issuance of building permits was suspended last August because of the risk of drinking water shortages -- though the mayor denied any proof that Volvic's operations were the cause.
"How can you tell people they can't water three tomato plants in the middle of summer, when they see full trucks leaving this factory?" De Larouziere said.” RTE news.

How indeed Mr. De Latouziere.

My missus is a devil for drinking fizzy water, every time she goes to Lidl she picks up three or four 2 L bottles of the stuff, she fills a pint glass and takes gulps from it all through the day, manages to shift a two L bottle a day, that couldn’t be good for her, and I said to her recently that she should have had a damp course installed in her body before she took up the water guzzling habit, is it any wonder why more and more women are complaining about leaky bladders (as seen on TV ads).

Then there are the dangers of rust, where there’s water there’s always rust as any seafaring man will tell you, rusty hearts livers kidneys and spleens, not to mention brains to consider, and ladies don’t forget there are the neighbours, sure there’s nothing looks as bad as rusty knickers hanging on a clothes line.

No, best to stick to beer, it was beer that saved many Londoners during the great plague of 1592. Water is a great carrier of germs, ideal for all their transport issues.

You see there’s no substance in water, water is just that…water, it flows in and out of you without any benefits whatsoever, whereas there’s eating and drinking in a pint of Guinness, I know people who have lived long lives and thrived on the stuff, and old Mrs McGrath down the road couldn’t do without her two bottles of stout every day, she was only 103 last week and can still do the highland fling, bless her dear heart.
God forbid when my lady pops it, they’ll have to pour her into the coffin.

One wonders what the acqua-holics will drink when all the spring water is gone, have to use the old crappy tap water and God knows what kind of chemicals go into that before it reaches the tap, but I suppose it is better to have drank tap water than never to have drank water at all, that’s all we got when we were kids.
Although it had it’s uses, when we were teddyboy teenagers and we ran out of Brylcreem we had to resort to free “council hair oil”…tap water.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

what's dis mon ravin abut watter - coming from a long line of homemade beer and wine laddies - that's lads not lady - water is one of the essential ingredients - and many the oirishmon I've heard and scotsmon too for that matter " I - I'll take a wee drop of water with me whisky if ya don't mind.

H2O - you coudnee get a better combimation - 2 atoms of hydrogen and one of oxygen. Reminds me of wee kathleen O'hara - two on top and one down below. can yu imagine =- no never mind kathleen ftm - cocentrate - Friuty cake - can ya turn on the bunsen burner - you capture one atom of oxygen just one mind and two hydrogens - they're a bit tricky ya gotta get them to stay together now then heat them up and wham bam thank you ma'am ya got water cool clear water - never was there such a mystery in life - yes christ turned the water into wine - but who produced the bloody water in the first place ? - why his old Pa that's who.

Take the old guine ess for eg - barley grown from the fields cannot happen without rain from the heavens - malt ; sugar mix them together - can ya make guiness - not without the aquae liquaei added to them. aye he's been hittin the poocheen too much I'm think - that's our Jem - and what with Spottie runnin around on his bikes I don't know what this team needs to bring it together again - yes I do - a little drop of femininity plus a dab of Pug and RJ that should do it the old J/P/RJ/F/and a few dabs of ladies of the deadly nightshade and it'all be up an runnin as smooth as british rail!!

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

bret, I think what you are trying to say in layman's terms is the original confabulators within this scribular emporium were blighted by atomic fallout due to a catastrophic event or series of. As such a natural molecular structure has been unable to naturally form in the aftermath, which observationally a traditional outcome for such a scenario.

I hope this clarifies the situation somewhat.

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Hmm no wonder ya bikes never work!

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)