08-07-2019, 11:03 AM
23631
Re: Last to post wins
Pole dancing ey, I might get away with that if they dimmed the lights right down.I'm told dongle used to do that in his prime, still does for the pensioners Christmas do at the working mens club.
Perhaps he could give me a few tips. As for earning the twenty quid Judsy, you are getting a bit carried away, I only need a fiver.
One dance and I'm orf home.
*
Now then, enough of this nonsense, I see the smelly men are have been collared to do something useful for a change, so having tidied up again I can now take my dogs out in peace.
Come along girls, off we go . . . .
08-07-2019, 12:35 PM
23635
Re: Last to post wins
Originally Posted by Judd
->
Make sure you clean up after those dogs of yours, the number of times someone's dog craps on the pavement outside my house and isn't cleaned up is disgusting.
If I'd have known it was your house they did it outside, I'd have put it through your letter box.
That'd really give you something to moan about.
08-07-2019, 02:21 PM
23636
Re: Last to post wins
Originally Posted by Mups
->
I have a slight dilemma. I will explain.Yesterday driving home, quite by chance I saw an old jewellers shop.
There it was, right in front of my car, and it called out and said it had something to show me. Tis true.
I blamed my car at first, for not going where it was supposed to go, it does this sometimes.
I decided to leave it in the hands of fate and if there was a parking space nearby, I would go and look, but if there wasn't, then I would insist my car took me home.
Blow me if there wasn't a Fiat sized space not 10 yards away!
What a coincidence, I thought, and took that to mean I'd best go and see what was in the shop.
To my amazement, I spotted a tiny gold cross necklace and couldn't take my eyes of it. I tried to drag myself away, but my feet wouldn't move in the direction I wanted, they would only move towards the shop door.
You can guess what happened no doubt. I ended up having to treat myself - against my will you understand. I had left my sensible head at home.
So I have a new necklace, and my lost one will no doubt be jealous and come out of hiding now.
Now the dilemma is, how can I replace the money I have just spent?
Have I got to resort to selling my body at my age? How does one go about it?
I thought about putting a red light in my porch but broke it going up the ladder.
Or should I write a card and stick it up in the nearby phone box, with some glamour girl's photo instead of mine?
I think I'd be acceptable as long as it was dark enough and foggy enough, especially if the pubs were just turning out, but can I remember the procedure I ask myself?
What do you think I should do?
08-07-2019, 10:34 PM
23637
Re: Last to post wins
Originally Posted by Mups
->
If I'd have known it was your house they did it outside, I'd have put it through your letter box. That'd really give you something to moan about.
08-07-2019, 10:35 PM
23638
Re: Last to post wins
Originally Posted by Longdogs
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I found 47p and a lolly stick down the side of the sofa. What can I get for that?
08-07-2019, 11:26 PM
23639
Re: Last to post wins
Right - you male lot - I may not be around much tomorrow - have a hot date with a surgeon! But I want you to know I will be back - and woe betide anyone who has :-a) upset any of the lovely ladies in here.
b) left your old socks and smelly underpants around again.
c) not followed - to the letter - any instructions given by Mups.
d) made any unkind comments.
e) upset the Bedlington brood.
f) trodden on any of Twinks cats - or mine!
g) generally misbehaved.
Because anaesthetics and scalpels have a strange effect on me - they send me wild ! Be afraid - be very afraid!!
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