Join for free
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Gaz55
Senior Member
Gaz55 is offline
UK
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 2,104
Gaz55 is male  Gaz55 has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
25-07-2015, 11:33 AM
1

Telephone answering service: Mental health. :) :)

(Something for all us old 'uns to look forward too)!



“Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship in orbit around the Earth.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the voice's will tell you which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother’s maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.”

Suzuki Sue's Avatar
Suzuki Sue
Chatterbox
Suzuki Sue is offline
West Yorkshire
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 6,955
Suzuki Sue is female  Suzuki Sue has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
25-07-2015, 12:46 PM
2

Re: Telephone answering service: Mental health. :) :)

I can't relate to any of them, but maybe the last one sometimes?

Anyway yes very funny!
Asian Butterfly's Avatar
Asian Butterfly
Senior Member
Asian Butterfly is offline
Malaysia
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 1,780
Asian Butterfly is female  Asian Butterfly has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
26-07-2015, 05:12 PM
3

Re: Telephone answering service: Mental health. :) :)

This is fun and stress relieving, thanks gaz for sharing
Gaz55
Senior Member
Gaz55 is offline
UK
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 2,104
Gaz55 is male  Gaz55 has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
28-07-2015, 01:32 PM
4

Re: Telephone answering service: Mental health. :) :)

Always a pleasure to make someone laugh!
Asian Butterfly's Avatar
Asian Butterfly
Senior Member
Asian Butterfly is offline
Malaysia
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 1,780
Asian Butterfly is female  Asian Butterfly has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
28-07-2015, 04:57 PM
5

Re: Telephone answering service: Mental health. :) :)

Originally Posted by Gaz55 ->
Always a pleasure to make someone laugh!
Thanks Gaz, laughter is after all, the best medicine
Gaz55
Senior Member
Gaz55 is offline
UK
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 2,104
Gaz55 is male  Gaz55 has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
28-07-2015, 05:00 PM
6

Re: Telephone answering service: Mental health. :) :)

Laughter and Love. The two best things in the World!
Asian Butterfly's Avatar
Asian Butterfly
Senior Member
Asian Butterfly is offline
Malaysia
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 1,780
Asian Butterfly is female  Asian Butterfly has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
28-07-2015, 05:07 PM
7

Re: Telephone answering service: Mental health. :) :)

Originally Posted by gaz55 ->
laughter and love. The two best things in the world!
Gaz55
Senior Member
Gaz55 is offline
UK
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 2,104
Gaz55 is male  Gaz55 has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
28-07-2015, 05:25 PM
8

Re: Telephone answering service: Mental health. :) :)

If you can find someone who makes you laugh,maybe they can make you fall in love!
Asian Butterfly's Avatar
Asian Butterfly
Senior Member
Asian Butterfly is offline
Malaysia
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 1,780
Asian Butterfly is female  Asian Butterfly has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
28-07-2015, 05:53 PM
9

Re: Telephone answering service: Mental health. :) :)

Originally Posted by Gaz55 ->
If you can find someone who makes you laugh,maybe they can make you fall in love!
It's always a two way street
Gaz55
Senior Member
Gaz55 is offline
UK
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 2,104
Gaz55 is male  Gaz55 has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
28-07-2015, 05:59 PM
10

Re: Telephone answering service: Mental health. :) :)

Sometimes two way street's end up as dead end streets where love is,but friendship can be found at the end if that is what the sign's say.
 
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >

Thread Tools


© Copyright 2009, Over50sForum   Contact Us | Over 50s Forum! | Archive | Privacy Statement | Terms of Use | Top

Powered by vBulletin Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.