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Tedc
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26-12-2018, 11:17 PM
1

My Career Versus my Family

I lived in a time when it was normal to move to a different location in order to progress up the career path of your Company.

In order to get to the next level, it was normal to be asked to move house to a different location and build the next stage of your career from there.

It was easy to convince yourself that this process actually built your experience - and skills to develop towards whatever might be the next step up.

Only now am I beginning to understand the impact of all this on my offspring.

They were wrenched out of their schools, their relationships, everything., to secure my targets.

This happened time and time again.

And it worked OK - For me!

Now, years later I'm starting to realise what the implications really were for my children.

Maybe I should not have done it.

Many did not take these steps.

What do you think?

p.s all mine are now happily working and involved in great relationship.
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27-12-2018, 01:25 AM
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Re: My Career Versus my Family

Everyone's situation is different as are everyone's priorities. When young and at the bottom of the financial rung of the ladder, you probably have to climb the ladder, maybe as matter of survival.
Once at a comfortable level, then you may choose to change your employment to a situation that allows you to remain in one area while raising your family.

Chasing the almighty buck may be satisfying to you but less so for the family that has to trail along after you. It's all about priorities and we don't all arrive at the same ones.
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27-12-2018, 07:55 AM
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Re: My Career Versus my Family

Tedc - you say your family are all happy, working, and in relationships now - so you must have done something right after all!

It doesn't pay to over analyse things - especially when they are in the past and cannot be altered.
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27-12-2018, 10:42 AM
4

Re: My Career Versus my Family

Well we are totally opposite family came first every time, stayed put so they had stability. And the result is the older ones are working hard with sensible heads on their shoulders, one is married to lovely lady. So whether you moved a lot or like us stayed put it all worked out well in the end for the kids.
Don't think kids really care as long as they feel safe and loved tedc.
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27-12-2018, 11:05 AM
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Re: My Career Versus my Family

I always used to wonder what effect it had on the kids, if you had to keep moving with your career. I didn't have kids, so have no experience, but I have many friends who had to do this!

Tedc there is no recipe for producing perfect kids, but yours seem happy enough now. Perhaps all the changes they had to deal with have helped them, by making them adjust more to changes, become more independent and also meet lots of new friends who have different ideas.
It was your job to provide food, shelter & love, but how their personalities develop is often influenced by the people they mix with....and we all know how difficult it is to try and choose your children's friends.

I have always believed that a parent's job is to teach your children how to look after themselves.... and it sounds like you have managed to do that!
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27-12-2018, 11:52 AM
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Re: My Career Versus my Family

You are a brave man Ted, it takes guts to up sticks and move in order to chase a dream. No doubt your relocating gave you more wealth than staying put, and so all your family would have benefited from your progress. You obviously had skills that your company found precious, and you were rewarded for your loyalty and commitment, a good lesson to your children to work hard and be loyal....I'm quite sure that when you moved, you had your families best interests at heart...
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27-12-2018, 09:42 PM
7

Re: My Career Versus my Family

Tedc,

I suspect that your career actually gave your children some considerable advantages.

As the daughter of a naval aviator (who loved his work), we moved on average about every 18 months. It was only when I left for university that they built their own home and established roots.

My brother, sister and I have had this conversation many times. We actually see that lifestyle as an advantage. We learned a great deal about the world early on, developed the confidence to navigate strange places (like an elementary school classroom), and the ability to meet people and make friends easily. We also think moving gave us a sense of tolerance problem solving, adventure, and a strong sense of family.

Of course there were the letdowns like leaving homes, neighborhoods, and friends, but the advantages vastly outweighed the downsides. We all agree that we were privileged to have had so many rich experiences.

Have you asked your children what they think?
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27-12-2018, 10:21 PM
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Re: My Career Versus my Family

Originally Posted by Surfermom ->
We actually see that lifestyle as an advantage. We learned a great deal about the world early on, developed the confidence to navigate strange places meet people and make friends easily..........................................bu t the advantages vastly outweighed the downsides.
Yes you are absolutely right and almost every military family has had to do the same (My father moved many times)

IMO children are far more likely to go wrong if they are under the pressure of peer groups who sneer at those who move and who try to compensate with the 'gang culture'
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27-12-2018, 10:58 PM
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Re: My Career Versus my Family

Originally Posted by Tedc ->
I lived in a time when it was normal to move to a different location in order to progress up the career path of your Company.

In order to get to the next level, it was normal to be asked to move house to a different location and build the next stage of your career from there.
Tedc, did your company have branches in multiple locations or were you in the services?
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27-12-2018, 11:19 PM
10

Re: My Career Versus my Family

Some folks in pursuance of the self, have created sleeping satellites!
 
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