07-09-2010, 08:54 PM
32
Re: Elder care
Thank you for your understanding post Aerolor.It seems anyone can get a licence and open up up Nursing Home, they don't need experience - just a few staff to run it. I found some of the young girls they employed to do the menial jobs to be very disrespectful and took away all the dignity of the resident when toileting or bathing. I always used to cut my father's hair for him once a month but a charge for it always appeared on his monthly bill - they swore the hairdresser had done it.
Maybe Residential Homes residents are treated better but vulnerable patients get a raw deal in my eyes regarding Nursing Homes.
07-09-2010, 10:14 PM
33
Re: Elder care
My daughter once worked in a nursing home, she lasted a month, could not cope with the way the people were treated...they fed them out of date food, and generally look on them as pests...she had a few run in's with other staff, in the end decided she could not stand by and watch what was going on, so left...07-09-2010, 10:20 PM
34
Re: Elder care
Originally Posted by Moli
->
My daughter once worked in a nursing home, she lasted a month, could not cope with the way the people were treated...they fed them out of date food, and generally look on them as pests...she had a few run in's with other staff, in the end decided she could not stand by and watch what was going on, so left...
09-09-2010, 09:14 PM
35
Re: Elder care
I feel, like a lot of people, that what Mags described is more common than we hear about.
I would not voluntarily go into a home, I would rather die years earlier than spend my last years locked in a place with other people I may not even like, and have no way out of that situation, it just blows me away to think about it!! Whilst there may be good homes, its not your home is it? I guarantee people will visit more in your own home than a nursing home - and when you get there, you tend to find friends and even relatives don't really visit often or in the long term even remember you!
I would like to think I will pop off before my son has to make that sort of decision. And then the other biggy is when do you think you are old? what age? coz when I was 30 I thought 50 was pushing it now I got to my 50's I realise I don't think it's that old lol My mum is 80 her neighbours are old some younger than her, she calls her neighbour that old lady and she is younger than my mother!! so maybe its a state of mind and we don't realise we are heading that way until someone is making a decision for us!!
My friend has told me if her daughters put her in a home she will write them out of her will lmao
June x
09-09-2010, 09:45 PM
36
Re: Elder care
While I certainly don't look forward to the time I'd need to go to a home, I think I could tolerate it and be reasonably content if I had my own room with my own things around me, my computer, and books. I have no living family, unfortunately quite a few of my friends have died, and as I come from a family where th women are very long-lived, I suspect I'll probably outlive most of the remaining ones.10-09-2010, 07:55 AM
37
Re: Elder care
Originally Posted by june1958
->
I feel, like a lot of people, that what Mags described is more common than we hear about. I would not voluntarily go into a home, I would rather die years earlier than spend my last years locked in a place with other people I may not even like, and have no way out of that situation, it just blows me away to think about it!! Whilst there may be good homes, its not your home is it? I guarantee people will visit more in your own home than a nursing home - and when you get there, you tend to find friends and even relatives don't really visit often or in the long term even remember you!
I would like to think I will pop off before my son has to make that sort of decision. And then the other biggy is when do you think you are old? what age? coz when I was 30 I thought 50 was pushing it now I got to my 50's I realise I don't think it's that old lol My mum is 80 her neighbours are old some younger than her, she calls her neighbour that old lady and she is younger than my mother!! so maybe its a state of mind and we don't realise we are heading that way until someone is making a decision for us!!
My friend has told me if her daughters put her in a home she will write them out of her will lmao
June x
10-09-2010, 10:11 AM
38
Re: Elder care
I don`t have much to leave except the house we live in - but whatever happened to the idea of looking after your own? My father spent his last days in my sister`s house, and I had previously volunteered to move in with him to do it.We took it in turns to keep an eye on him, and this surely is normal?
For me, you repay all the love and care they have given you with a little of your time.
Yes it is different if there are medical issues or severe dementia, but this is not the case with most people. It`s simply that they become too frail. I don`t see what`s so awful about caring for frail parents.
10-09-2010, 11:28 AM
39
Re: Elder care
Originally Posted by claireandaisy
->
I don`t have much to leave except the house we live in - but whatever happened to the idea of looking after your own? My father spent his last days in my sister`s house, and I had previously volunteered to move in with him to do it. We took it in turns to keep an eye on him, and this surely is normal?
For me, you repay all the love and care they have given you with a little of your time.
Yes it is different if there are medical issues or severe dementia, but this is not the case with most people. It`s simply that they become too frail. I don`t see what`s so awful about caring for frail parents.
10-09-2010, 06:59 PM
40
Re: Elder care
I don't think my mum would live with us even if we had room, she says she would not live with any of her children, but is adamant that she wouldn't want to end up in a home either
Anyway, she doesn't live too far from me and comes twice a week to see her grandson whom, I think has given her a reason to carry on
I am going to go and help her with a bit of house work, as she is struggling with that, she helped me so much when my daughter was alive, I would not have been able to look after my daughter who had severe disabilities, had she not helped me although she was younger then, well, in her late 60's but never the less it was help and I am going to try and help her as long as I can to stay where she is happy.June x
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