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spitfire
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19-09-2020, 01:17 PM
21

Re: condolences

What about giving someone a Hug from the rear?
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Morticia
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19-09-2020, 01:18 PM
22

Re: condolences

Originally Posted by paula ->
Two days ago I was told that an old neighbour had died, we lived in the same street about 40 years ago, she really was a lovely person. this evening I took a sympathy card and slipped it through the husbands letterbox, he must have seen me as I passed his window because he was at the door as I posted the card through the letterbox, he opened the door and held out his arms, and I gave him a cuddle, he just wanted to talk about her . After I got home It just struck me that maybe I shouldn't have hugged him, not with this virus doing the rounds, what other human acts of kindness have we supposed to ignore because of this virus...
It's a natural instinct to offer comfort .... especially if he held out his arms.
Whilst some would deem it too risky it's also an awful time to be left alone, to grieve alone ... when a bit of human contact is just what he needed.
Don't feel too bad about it.
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Morticia
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19-09-2020, 01:20 PM
23

Re: condolences

Originally Posted by Artangel ->
I am not paranoid at all!

How many of you shop online these days, lots on here do. I am in the shops lots of times a week, l walk most days. If l was paranoid, I wouldn’t leave the house. So please don’t accuse me of paranoia.

All those that would hug someone, are you on call to help them? Do you cook them something? Ask if you can help in some way? Ring them or call on them each day to see that they are ok?

No, you probably don’t, yet you think your, ‘oh l am so good’ one hug will solve everything!
Crumbs .... you having a bad hair today Art?
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Morticia
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19-09-2020, 01:21 PM
24

Re: condolences

Originally Posted by spitfire ->
What about giving someone a Hug from the rear?
What? You mean like cheek to cheek ... both rear-ended. I suppose it could catch on.
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Mups
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19-09-2020, 01:24 PM
25

Re: condolences

Originally Posted by Artangel ->
I am not paranoid at all!

How many of you shop online these days, lots on here do. I am in the shops lots of times a week, l walk most days. If l was paranoid, I wouldn’t leave the house. So please don’t accuse me of paranoia.

All those that would hug someone, are you on call to help them? Do you cook them something? Ask if you can help in some way? Ring them or call on them each day to see that they are ok?

No, you probably don’t, yet you think your, ‘oh l am so good’ one hug will solve everything!

If you don't mind me saying, that's a bit harsh Art.
I don't think Paula, or anyone else, has thought of themselves as ' I am so good.'

Most people have said in a split second it was just a natural reflex, nothing to do with anyone feeling 'oh so good.'

As Twink just mentioned, if someone nearby was falling down, would you honestly just stand back and watch? Wouldn't your instinct be to grab them?
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19-09-2020, 01:32 PM
26

Re: condolences

Originally Posted by Morticia ->
Crumbs .... you having a bad hair today Art?

No, not at all. Just saying, giving a hug on one day isn’t more caring than being there for the person by word and helping them in the following days and after their sad time.

I can’t be a nodding donkey like some, l live in the real world and say it as it is... what's wrong in that?

How many bereaved people get a hug from various people but when the bereaved are back to their everyday life, the huggers are nowhere to be seen. They seem to think their one hug solves everything.
I have seen it happen, time and time again.
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19-09-2020, 01:37 PM
27

Re: condolences

Floydy would have recognised this one.

I don't need no arms around me
And I don't need no drugs to calm me
I have seen the writing on the wall
Don't think I need anything at all

No, don't think I'll need anything at all

All in all it was all just bricks in the wall
All in all you were all just bricks in the wall.
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19-09-2020, 01:47 PM
28

Re: condolences

I like to think that once a person has heard of the sad death of a neighbour (which Paula had just two days ago) they would naturally shown their concern to the remaining partner by asking if there was anything they could do to help. I imagine Paula would possibly do the same.

For what it’s worth, I would probably have given the grieving gent a comforting hug too, my compassion would overrule anything else.
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Morticia
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19-09-2020, 01:47 PM
29

Re: condolences

Originally Posted by Artangel ->
No, not at all. Just saying, giving a hug on one day isn’t more caring than being there for the person by word and helping them in the following days and after their sad time.

I can’t be a nodding donkey like some, l live in the real world and say it as it is... what's wrong in that?

How many bereaved people get a hug from various people but when the bereaved are back to their everyday life, the huggers are nowhere to be seen. They seem to think their one hug solves everything.
I have seen it happen, time and time again.
Sounds like you're moaning about people in general now and not specifically to do with covid.
It's just instinct for some .. to give a hug. Or to ask for a hug come to that. You might not be, but others do.

Now ... if you'd been griping about those immigrants pulling up in dinghys on Kent beaches and wandering to roam in the village streets I'd have moaned with you.
Now that really is thoughtless, inconsiderate and selfish.
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Mups
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19-09-2020, 01:55 PM
30

Re: condolences

Originally Posted by Artangel ->
No, not at all. Just saying, giving a hug on one day isn’t more caring than being there for the person by word and helping them in the following days and after their sad time.

I can’t be a nodding donkey like some, l live in the real world and say it as it is... what's wrong in that?

How many bereaved people get a hug from various people but when the bereaved are back to their everyday life, the huggers are nowhere to be seen. They seem to think their one hug solves everything.
I have seen it happen, time and time again.

I don't think like that Art.

I hug doesn't mean a lifelong care commitment, it was just what the old chap needed at that moment.

Of course washing up, getting his shopping and chatting are more practical help, agreed, but would not have had the same instantaneous effect as the physical hug would have done when he obviously needed it.
 
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