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Judd
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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08-05-2019, 02:24 PM
1081

Re: Jokes for blokes

My wife asked me if she was any good in bed,

"Well of course you are my darling, " I replied, "you don't snore or fart, you don't hog all the blankets, and best of all, you're quiet for eight hours. "
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JBR
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Cheshire, UK
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08-05-2019, 02:34 PM
1082

Re: Jokes for blokes

Originally Posted by Judd ->
My wife asked me if she was any good in bed,

"Well of course you are my darling, " I replied, "you don't snore or fart, you don't hog all the blankets, and best of all, you're quiet for eight hours. "
You believe in living dangerously, Judd.
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Judd
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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10-05-2019, 07:43 PM
1083

Re: Jokes for blokes

I was on a date with this girl when she started telling me about her past violent relationships.

"That's terrible," I said, holding her hand. "How bad were the beatings?"

"Well I remember one real nasty one where I broke three of his ribs and punctured a lung," she replied.
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effingpot
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Hampshire, UK
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12-05-2019, 06:17 PM
1084

Re: Jokes for blokes

That's just wrong!

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20-05-2019, 11:03 PM
1085

Re: Jokes for blokes

Two Irishman, Mick and Paddy were walking home from the pub after drinking late night. Mick says to Paddy, “I can’t be bothered to walk all that way.” “I know,” says Paddy, “but we’ve no money for a cab and we’ve missed the last bus home.” “We could steal a bus from the depot,” Mick suggests. They arrive at the bus depot and Mick tells Paddy to go in and get a bus while he keeps a look-out… After shuffling around for ages, Mick shouts, “Paddy, what are you doing? Have you not found one yet?” Paddy shouts back, “I can’t find a No. 91”
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20-05-2019, 11:12 PM
1086

Re: Jokes for blokes

Originally Posted by Longdogs ->
Two Irishman, Mick and Paddy were walking home from the pub after drinking late night. Mick says to Paddy, “I can’t be bothered to walk all that way.” “I know,” says Paddy, “but we’ve no money for a cab and we’ve missed the last bus home.” “We could steal a bus from the depot,” Mick suggests. They arrive at the bus depot and Mick tells Paddy to go in and get a bus while he keeps a look-out… After shuffling around for ages, Mick shouts, “Paddy, what are you doing? Have you not found one yet?” Paddy shouts back, “I can’t find a No. 91”
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Judd
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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21-05-2019, 12:18 AM
1087

Re: Jokes for blokes

Originally Posted by Longdogs ->
Two Irishman, Mick and Paddy were walking home from the pub after drinking late night. Mick says to Paddy, “I can’t be bothered to walk all that way.” “I know,” says Paddy, “but we’ve no money for a cab and we’ve missed the last bus home.” “We could steal a bus from the depot,” Mick suggests. They arrive at the bus depot and Mick tells Paddy to go in and get a bus while he keeps a look-out… After shuffling around for ages, Mick shouts, “Paddy, what are you doing? Have you not found one yet?” Paddy shouts back, “I can’t find a No. 91”
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Judd
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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21-05-2019, 10:00 PM
1088

Re: Jokes for blokes

Whilst out shopping my wife presented with a handbag and asked my opinion. "What do you think of that?"
"Lovely It will match your outfit" I answered.
"What outfit do you mean?" She then asked.
"The outfit that you are now going to buy to match the new handbag"
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21-05-2019, 11:25 PM
1089

Re: Jokes for blokes

Originally Posted by Judd ->
Whilst out shopping my wife presented with a handbag and asked my opinion. "What do you think of that?"
"Lovely It will match your outfit" I answered.
"What outfit do you mean?" She then asked.
"The outfit that you are now going to buy to match the new handbag"
Brilliant, and so true!
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effingpot
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Hampshire, UK
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24-05-2019, 04:12 PM
1090

Re: Jokes for blokes

 
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