08-01-2016, 11:00 PM
24
Re: When to say NO
A long time ago, I had a family member who kept asking me for money, just little amounts for petrol or to pay a bill etc, we later found out she had a heroin problem. She turned out fine though, when her parents found out, she went on the methadone programme, got married and now she has 3 grown up children.I was so proud of my sister who lived in a small town, she fronted up at the chemist with her daughter every morning to get her methadone shot and didn't care who knew it.
08-01-2016, 11:16 PM
25
Re: When to say NO
My rule has always been that I would never lend money, even if I had any ! lolI have certainly paid for things in the past and received nothing in return and no thanks whatsoever.
But each time, I have done this after weighing up the situation and I accepted that it was my choice entirely.
I always hoped that I might be pleasantly surprised some time in the future.
While there's life, there's hope
08-01-2016, 11:18 PM
26
Re: When to say NO
Originally Posted by Older git
->
I am such a soft touch. A friend of mine has a son who owes me £400 and his mum £600 -all vet bills the scrote failed to pay.He then cleared of to Malta to live. Him and his girlfriend decided to drop in to see mum(staying at her place) for a couple of weeks. Did they pay for anything?...
So yesterday my friend asked if I could lend her £30 to buy food as she was feeding 3. I could not say No. But this is the last time.
Having already lent money, how can you now refuse £30 ... unless you mention the outstanding 1,000, but you'd feel mean doing that ... and that's what they're relying on. Your good nature.
Next time they come begging just think what they must be thinking as they ask ...
It'll help stiffen your resolve to never lend again.
Lending to friends always ends in grief.
09-01-2016, 03:45 PM
28
Re: When to say NO
Me neither .I have in the past there lent money
Twice these were large amounts and I asked for a receipt .
Both were returned to me.
Now I am not working I would not do so ( except to my children who have never asked me ) as I have no way of making up the money .
09-01-2016, 03:49 PM
29
Re: When to say NO
Originally Posted by susan m
->
Hmm , memories of foolish me come flooding back.28 years ago my best friend a single mother of 4 came to tell me the bank had written to her telling her she was £350.00 in debt on her mortgage . Horrified she may lose her home I gave her the money later that day making her promise to pay off the debt. I said to her , one day when life changes for you you can pay me back .
Life changed for her a few years later when she married , then later sold the house moving into a larger country home , again life changed for her recently when she was left £225.000 by an old friend , and I've never been offered the money , in fact I believe she has completely forgotten I kept a roof over her head .
The amount may not sound a lot to some but it was a lot to me and money she would never have found anywhere else .
It hurts and annoys me that I was foolish......and we no longer meet
Write her a letter telling her just as you have written here .
If she has anything about her she will repay you .
If not you have lost nothing the friendship is long gone but the
Matter rankles with you and you will have told her .
Some people are just ungrateful shites.
10-01-2016, 01:43 PM
30
Re: When to say NO
I'm rather pleased with the majority of replies here. Because I am struggling with the thought of saying no to another request for money from a family member, whom I have given and given to repeatedly. It;s not like I have an endless supply of funds and only save by being careful of my weekly pension. When she says can you lend me, she means give me, because she has never offered to repay any of the previous loans. once I do give money to her I am blanked and ignored until she next needs dosh. My battle is between love for her and her taking the wee wee. You have given me the boost I need to say NO. Am I being mean here? I hate to be thinking this way.|
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