Humans (And Other Animals)Taking Sides, Making Alliances, or Sitting on the Fence

I hope this is not considered a silly post and it is not intended to be provocative in any way - merely seeking views on how and for what purposes these things happen in all sorts of situations. It seems most of us take sides, make alliances and, depending on the situation, we attach varying degrees of importance to it.
Do we really like "standing alone." My understanding is that humans have both predatory and herd instincts (mentalities if you like) which act as drivers. We are also normally gregarious animals.

Re: Humans (And Other Animals)Taking Sides, Making Alliances, or Sitting on the Fence

Morning Aerolor, Yes that's true. If you don't mind a Personal Experience of mine of how Sitting on the Fence can turn you into the Bad one, I'll tell you.
Before I got together with The Laird and I still lived full time in my own home I used to meet a bunch of Dog Walker Friends each Evening, (6-9 of us) We Doddled round the Walk talking away while the Dogs all ran and Played.
To cut it short....A row broke out between 2 of the Ladies, I could quite plainly see both points of view and said so. The others had all taken sides and I was odd one out. I refused point blank to take sides as I like all of them and in the end they all stopped talking to me as I would not take a side. I was blazing but held my Tongue and now I walk alone with my Dogs.

Re: Humans (And Other Animals)Taking Sides, Making Alliances, or Sitting on the Fence

Yes, the herding instinct is strong, for good reason ie self-preservation- you are more likely to survive in a group. There could be times however, when it would be " every man for himself", again for self-preservation.

Re: Humans (And Other Animals)Taking Sides, Making Alliances, or Sitting on the Fence

It's a tough choice sometimes and you're absolutely correct Roxy that it's wrong to take sides when you can see the merit in both sides of the argument. However comfortable it may be to have allies seeing things from your point of view, sometimes we have to accept we have it wrong, and it is a good friend who will tell us that rather than blindly agreeing for the sake of good relations, although in truth we have all probably done that at some time or another...

Re: Humans (And Other Animals)Taking Sides, Making Alliances, or Sitting on the Fence

Rena, it is not in the least bit silly as far as I can see.

I do think one should divorce the reality of human contact and alliance from the cyber world of fora.

It will I am sure be of very little interest to many but to illustrate the point, friendships that we forged many decades ago in some of the worst s**t holes in the world endure to this day simply because we were equal and had a common goal yet retained our own identity. Only the passage of time suspends these alliances, but only whilst we remain in this world.

The online world is altogether different and I believe the alliances you speak of are by definition mostly superficial as in the majority of cases one does not know with any certainty who they are communicating with. However and perhaps somewhat paradoxically, flame wars can break out at the first little sign of incongruousness. It is certainly the case that the written word can often be misconstrued and offence taken where none was ever intended, conversely it is a weapon in the armoury of those who seek to cause trouble by penning words they would never have the courage of uttering face to face, such is the cloak of anonymity.

Of course there are exceptions to every rule as I know only too well, some of the online support networks that we survivors and our carers have are brilliant and invaluable. The measure of the liberating lifeline that the internet brings to many otherwise isolated folks is also incalculatable.

As far as the skirmish that broke out on the other now locked thread goes,
I posted exactly what was on my mind, in hindsight it was perhaps a rather feeble attempt to try and bring about an end to the rancour that seemed to me at any rate to be permeating through the forum in recent times.

It rather looks as if I was alone in that assumption and if anyone has been offended by my words then for the sake of the forum and harmony I apologise.

I will in future restrict my postings to the music and sport threads, we always seem to enjoy a pleasant atmosphere there and frankly I don't need the hectoring.

George.

Re: Humans (And Other Animals)Taking Sides, Making Alliances, or Sitting on the Fence

I don't think its ever a good idea to take sides in a dispute between friends. No matter what the outcome, you will end up being the bad guy. I've seen it so many times. In my experience the best course of action is to take no side regardless of your opinion................or sit on the fence as you say.

Personally, I've never felt the need to be with the crowd........I do things because I want to do them, not because everyone else is doing them. I think it makes life so much easier if you stand alone and make your own decisions instead of going with the flow and doing what you think other people expect of you. Be independent, do your own thing and then if it goes wrong you have no-one to blame but yourself.

Re: Humans (And Other Animals)Taking Sides, Making Alliances, or Sitting on the Fence

Yes I am with you there Mazzie I am a loner, prefer my own company except I am never alone always having had a dog.

Re: Humans (And Other Animals)Taking Sides, Making Alliances, or Sitting on the Fence

I must be the odd one out, I am NOT a herd animal, much prefering to stand on my own two feet and defend my corner.

Should however, in the course of the "debate" someone step in and make, what I would consider to be a salacious/ stupid/ ignorant remark against ANYONE, whether they are --- "on my side" or on the other side" I will go for the jugular.

Whether I agree with a post or not, in the main I respect what is said, and the person posting, I answer it at I see it, as if we were having a "face to face" debate.

Some don't like my style, well thats their problem, get over it, if I have to suffer yours surely you ( the general membership NOT the original poster) can suffer mine.

No matter who you are you will take sides, whether you 'publish' that fact or not is up to individual, but when taking sides, as it were, take sides on your interpretation of the thread, and not that of the idea you have formulated on the poster.

Re: Humans (And Other Animals)Taking Sides, Making Alliances, or Sitting on the Fence

Maybe I've got it wrong here but I thought we were talking about real life here and not forum life.

Re: Humans (And Other Animals)Taking Sides, Making Alliances, or Sitting on the Fence

I can be an indecisive person, I very often sit on the fence because I can't make up my mind, or I don't want to upset someone. But by the same token, if I have a firm opinion I will put my pennyworth forward and if I happen to be taking a side .

I don't believe in god, fairies, ghosts or ufo's..so I wouldn't join a post and deride anyone who did.

George, you don't mess about with words. You say it as you see it. And some find that offensive..though for the life of me I can't see (other than to correct a spelling mistake) how your post got someone so disgruntled, especially as some like a good row. I hope you don't confine yourself to the music and sport sections.

This is the first forum I have joined, I feel quite comfortable here. Some days, I feel more welcome than others. Some days I feel ignored...maybe I just want to be with the 'in' crowd
How do you 'take sides on your interpretation of the thread, and not that of the idea you have formulated on the poster'
when the poster has done all in their power to show what sort of personality they have?