Re: Help Dealing with Anger in an Appropriate Manner

Bratti,

There will always be an immediate crisis of some type that will force a reaction emotionally from each of us. How we handle it is up to us, to use control.

Over the years I have found a way of coping with my reactions to these crises. I don't give a knee jerk reaction as I once did. Take a deep breath, mentally take a step back, and focus on the long term effects of any action, and reaction. It gives you a positive focus on a negative problem. Short term and immediate reaction often solves nothing except to blow off steam; it feels good at the moment but later makes you feel regret. Being able to rein in rants and raves places confident thoughts in your brain, a sort of reward, and in turn promises you will feel better with your solution.

It takes a lot of practice, but well worth it in self confidence in your choices in life.

I'm still practicing

Re: Help Dealing with Anger in an Appropriate Manner

Hi

As others have said.

Channel your anger into something positive, not something negative.

Re: Help Dealing with Anger in an Appropriate Manner

Something like a 50cal and make a statement !!!

https://youtu.be/2SUr1x4Vd74

Re: Help Dealing with Anger in an Appropriate Manner

Get a dog. And walk. Enjoy the beauty of nature.

Re: Help Dealing with Anger in an Appropriate Manner

Sometimes, keeping anger in, letting it fester and cause bitterness is far worse than letting it out.

Re: Help Dealing with Anger in an Appropriate Manner

Thank you for the feedback. You all have some very good points.

My counselling starts this Tuesday.

I have two dogs and take them for long walks in the woods everyday which is soothing to the soul. I also do yoga most mornings and belong to a gym where I workout for an hour 3 times a week.

Channeling energy into something positive is a great idea but it doesn’t address the issue of needing to express anger in an appropriate manner. Suggesting people shouldn’t get angry sounds good only on paper or to people who have already mastered this. I haven’t.

There are situations where getting angry is appropriate . If you just caught your spouse in bed with your best friend, you probably aren’t going to just ‘suck it up’ and let it slide. No this didn’t happen to me.

Since my husbands explosive and I can be also we have fighting rules in our house and they work when we use them. When I get angry I’ll leave the house and go for a walk. Sometimes I’ll take my car but usually I’ll walk. My husband used to follow me everywhere which didn’t help at all which is why we made the rules. It gives us both a chance to calm down.

There were years and years where I was exceptionally peaceful. I meditated daily and practiced spiritual work but then again I didn’t socialize much at all so it was easy plus I didn’t have much stress since I had simplified my life. There was no online social life.

Annie’s post resonates the most with me. I have to know my triggers. I don’t know my triggers but I think she is right that they are rooted in my childhood where I didn’t feel safe. My parents were extremely abusive; physically and psychologically. I’m currently caring for them and they are still the same way and unless I assert myself, they will , not only walk all over but become abusive.

I’m not the POA , ...yet I’m doing all the work of a POA and not being appreciated for it.
Stuff that I thought I’d dealt with years ago is bubbling at the service which is why I made the appointment for counselling.

Maybe because of how I was treated as a child and now caring for my parents, unresolved issues are surfacing that need to be dealt with.

RightNows suggestion to step back is a good one that I used to use but had forgotten about. Stop the knee jerk instant action as this isn’t a solution in any situation.

Arts answer is profound and so true. Anger exists and I think one of the worst things to do is pretend it doesn’t. That’s a recipe for disaster but clearly what I’m doing isn’t working either. Currently I have anger issues and I’m not happy with it. I used to journal everyday and have gotten out of the habit but will start back up today. I got a lovely journal for Christmas to use so I’ll do just that.

If anyone notices me starting to take ANY topic too seriously , please remind me of this thread. I don’t want to become a bully to anyone nor do I want to be a doormat.
I need to find that place in between the two called normal .

Thanks again. I really do appreciate these ideas and reminders.

Re: Help Dealing with Anger in an Appropriate Manner

Hi

You can cope and channelling anger into a positive is the way forward, it is a positive, not a negative.

I have been captured and tortured, by professionals, I still suffer from that, I always will.

Life changing issues, but I am still here, life will never be the same, I miss out on so much that others take for granted.

I still wake up in the morning, I love the sunrise, the flowers, the countryside.

I value everything about life.

I will no longer be able to wade out in a Salmon River, or the Surf.

I can no longer walk 50k with a 60 kilo backpack, up hill and down dale.

I no longer have the strength to reel in a 400 kilo Blue-fin Tuna.

So what, I can enjoy every single day, and I do.

Growing old is not a disaster, it is a change, and a positive one that at.

It gives you time enjoy the little things you missed out when you where younger and life was such a rush.

Re: Help Dealing with Anger in an Appropriate Manner

I like that description.

Re: Help Dealing with Anger in an Appropriate Manner

Bratti you are under a lot of stress .
Can you get away completely from your sitauation for a couple of days ?

Re: Help Dealing with Anger in an Appropriate Manner

I m like sweets, when i.m angry it makes me cry. Its an emotion I hate to feel. I like to go to the gym, it helps release any tension.