Re: Estranged family and Christmas
Originally Posted by
pauline3
->
My two eldest sons divorced me also, I tried to make amends on fb, but they were having none of it, totally understandable why they feel that way.
As a Christian,I believe I tried to make amends in my own strength, instead of leaving them to God, so I now rest in God and wait patiently for Him to reunite us, if he doesn’t,that is fine by me, he may even change their hearts towards me, who knows, it used to upset me terribly as we have been estranged for many yrs,I think over 14 yrs...but to be honest I don’t think about them much,plus I have never looked them up on fb,since returning to that site.
Don’t get me wrong,I would welcome them with open arms if they showed up, I also have 4 grandchildren,never seen them.
My heart goes out to you Pauline. Unless you have walked this path, there is no way you can know the heartache, the grief, and cruelest of all, the shame, of having your children cut you out of their life.
You are left with no choice but to see yourself with loving compassion, change what needs changing and heal yourself. You are right, you cannot wait around for your children to come back to you. You cannot wait for them to forgive you — that may never happen.
Also, so glad you moved forward because you cannot continue to beat yourself up.
I know that it is possible for adult children to walk away from a relationship with their parents for many reasons that have nothing to do with whether you were a good parent or not.
Good parents make big mistakes sometimes. Being human, it is not an option to never make a mistake.
Whatever happened, you were always trying to do your best. Your fears, wounds and beliefs, your childhood, your relationships all affected you and your children.
There is no escaping that. But if you were a sincere parent, one who always wanted only the best for your children, you have to accept that even if you made some big mistakes, you are still worthy of love.