Join for free
Reply
Page 163 of 176 « First < 63 113 153 161 162 163 164 165 173 > Last »
Richmond's Avatar
Richmond
Senior Member
Richmond is offline
United Kingdom
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 1,156
Richmond is female  Richmond has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
29-06-2020, 06:36 PM
1621

Re: Let's have a laugh

[yt]?v=TkU1ob_lHCw[yt/]
Reply With Quote
Richmond's Avatar
Richmond
Senior Member
Richmond is offline
United Kingdom
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 1,156
Richmond is female  Richmond has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
29-06-2020, 06:38 PM
1622

Re: Let's have a laugh

Thanks Judd for your kind offer to get this item of mine posted

But it still does not work on here -- strange as it uploads
fine elsewhere.

But its a skit about Trump -- so!!!!
Reply With Quote
Judd's Avatar
Judd
Chatterbox
Judd is offline
West Riding of Yorkshire
Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 11,136
Judd is male  Judd has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
29-06-2020, 08:36 PM
1623

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Richmond ->
Thanks Judd for your kind offer to get this item of mine posted

But it still does not work on here -- strange as it uploads
fine elsewhere.

But its a skit about Trump -- so!!!!
You've got the last part of the link wrong. The forward slash / should go before the yt in between the square brackets.

Also, you don't need the ?v= part after the first set of square brackets.
Reply With Quote
Swannie148's Avatar
Swannie148
Senior Member
Swannie148 is offline
Sydney, Australia
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 283
Swannie148 is male 
 
29-06-2020, 11:18 PM
1624

Re: Let's have a laugh

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled upon an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said "OK. OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the 4th time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish! The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?" The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete . . how much steel!! No, think of another wish!" The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women . . . know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment . . .know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say, 'nothing' . . . know how to make them truly happy . . ." The genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"
Reply With Quote
JBR's Avatar
JBR
Chatterbox
JBR is offline
Cheshire, UK
Joined: Sep 2015
Posts: 27,668
JBR is male  JBR has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
29-06-2020, 11:45 PM
1625

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Swannie148 ->
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled upon an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said "OK. OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the 4th time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish! The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?" The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete . . how much steel!! No, think of another wish!" The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women . . . know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment . . .know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say, 'nothing' . . . know how to make them truly happy . . ." The genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"


I told that to Marge.
She worked out the punchline before I even got there!
Reply With Quote
Richmond's Avatar
Richmond
Senior Member
Richmond is offline
United Kingdom
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 1,156
Richmond is female  Richmond has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
30-06-2020, 05:18 PM
1626

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Swannie148 ->
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled upon an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said "OK. OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the 4th time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish! The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?" The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete . . how much steel!! No, think of another wish!" The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women . . . know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment . . .know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say, 'nothing' . . . know how to make them truly happy . . ." The genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"
Good One!!
Reply With Quote
Richmond's Avatar
Richmond
Senior Member
Richmond is offline
United Kingdom
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 1,156
Richmond is female  Richmond has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
30-06-2020, 05:22 PM
1627

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Swannie148 ->
At the 1998 World Women's Conference, the first speaker from England stood up: "At last year's conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well after the conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb."
The crowd cheered.
The second speaker from America stood up: "After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had done not only his own washing but my washing as well."
The crowd cheered.
The third speaker from Ireland stood up: "After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his shopping and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."
LOL -- I am also 'nicking it'!!
Reply With Quote
Swannie148's Avatar
Swannie148
Senior Member
Swannie148 is offline
Sydney, Australia
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 283
Swannie148 is male 
 
30-06-2020, 11:02 PM
1628

Re: Let's have a laugh

Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone." Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire. When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off. Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels - the phone is still ringing - when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke. The phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife - she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. Well, Mister, I TOLD HER!"
Reply With Quote
Swannie148's Avatar
Swannie148
Senior Member
Swannie148 is offline
Sydney, Australia
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 283
Swannie148 is male 
 
30-06-2020, 11:04 PM
1629

Re: Let's have a laugh

Reply With Quote
Richmond's Avatar
Richmond
Senior Member
Richmond is offline
United Kingdom
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 1,156
Richmond is female  Richmond has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
01-07-2020, 12:03 PM
1630

Re: Let's have a laugh

LOST DOG POSTER.jpg


Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 163 of 176 « First < 63 113 153 161 162 163 164 165 173 > Last »

Thread Tools


© Copyright 2009, Over50sForum   Contact Us | Over 50s Forum! | Archive | Privacy Statement | Terms of Use | Top

Powered by vBulletin Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.