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JBR
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Cheshire, UK
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06-10-2018, 02:43 PM
951

Re: Jokes for blokes

Originally Posted by Judd ->
Me : I want to divorce my wife.
Lawyer : On what grounds?
Me : She's out all night, every night, going from bar to bar.
Lawyer : Are you saying she's an alcoholic or do you think she's cheating?
Me : No, she's looking for me.
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Judd
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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06-10-2018, 11:30 PM
952

Re: Jokes for blokes

Pub landlord, holding a phone: Dave, it's your wife.

Dave: Tell her I'm not here - stupid fat bitch.

Landlord: I can't, she's behind you.
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Judd
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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10-10-2018, 12:44 PM
953

Re: Jokes for blokes

In the car, I said to my wife, “You’ve been driving this haven’t you?”
She said, “How do you know?”
I said, “Because the clutch is knackered.”

She said, “Don’t blame me, I never use it.
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Primus1
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York
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31-10-2018, 10:44 PM
954

Re: Jokes for blokes

Tried to get the wife to sexually stimulate me with her key ring but she just kept fobbing me off..
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Primus1
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York
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31-10-2018, 10:48 PM
955

Re: Jokes for blokes

Went to my premature ejaculation support group today....turns out it was tomorrow..
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Primus1
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York
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31-10-2018, 10:50 PM
956

Re: Jokes for blokes

Accidentally kicked my dog today and it bit me on the bollocks, my mate said it’s karma, I said no if anything it’s even more angry..
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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07-11-2018, 02:49 PM
957

Re: Jokes for blokes

"You look a bit down today"
"Yes, my wife's not speaking to me and I don't know why"
"Never mind, it'll soon blow over"
"That's what I'm worried about, I'm trying to remember what I did so I can do it again"
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Besoeker
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Doncaster, UK
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07-11-2018, 03:30 PM
958

Re: Jokes for blokes

Man went into the greengrocer with his dog named Mechanic.. It peed on the carrots.
GG "If I give a kick in the nuts, will it make a bolt for the doior?"
Man: "No but it will make a spring for your balls."
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SW England
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11-11-2018, 04:25 PM
959

Re: Jokes for blokes

Originally Posted by Primus1 ->
Went to my premature ejaculation support group today....turns out it was tomorrow..
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SW England
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11-11-2018, 04:26 PM
960

Re: Jokes for blokes

Q: Is Google male or female?

A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
 
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