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25-11-2018, 01:56 PM
61

Re: Let's have a laugh

I went to golf lessons with a professional instructor. I hit a few balls and missed the green on every shot.

He said “I can see your problem, you need to cut six inches off all your clubs”.

“Will that improve my game?” I asked.

“No but they’ll fit in the bin easier” He replied.
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Bedfordshire UK
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26-11-2018, 12:34 PM
62

Re: Let's have a laugh

I went to the zoo yesterday. Looking in a small cage I saw a baguette. I asked a keeper what it was about, he said it was bread in captivity
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26-11-2018, 06:29 PM
63

Re: Let's have a laugh

Great way to catch a thief

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26-11-2018, 07:25 PM
64

Re: Let's have a laugh

My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down..
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27-11-2018, 07:17 PM
65

Re: Let's have a laugh

A tornado destroyed a french cheese factory, ...all that was left was de Brie,
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27-11-2018, 11:31 PM
66

Re: Let's have a laugh

My mate needed a bone marrow transplant

We found a match in Argentina

The operation was a success

Our thanks go out to Diego Marrow Donor.
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27-11-2018, 11:48 PM
67

Re: Let's have a laugh

There are two types of people in the world:
1. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data
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effingpot
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03-12-2018, 05:23 PM
68

Re: Let's have a laugh

One for the techies! Made me laugh

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05-12-2018, 08:24 PM
69

Re: Let's have a laugh

Lots of laughs here - some smart 'play on words' -- Thanks all.
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05-12-2018, 08:29 PM
70

Re: Let's have a laugh

This might save you the cost and embarrassment of being arrested for DUI.

As you know, people have been known to have unexpected brushes with the authorities from time to time,

often on the way home after a "social session” with family or friends.

Well, this year, it happened to me.

I was out for the evening to a party and had more than several margaritas, a few rum and cokes,

coupled with a bottle of rather nice red wine.

It was held at a great Mexican restaurant. Although relaxed,

I still had the common sense to know I was slightly over the limit.

That's when I did something I've never done before...I took a taxi home.

On the way home there was a police roadblock,

but since it was a taxi they waved it past and I arrived home safely without incident.

These roadblocks can be anywhere and I realized how lucky I was to have chosen to take a taxi.



The real surprise to me was I had never driven a taxi before.

I don't know where I got it, and now that it's in my garage

I don't know what to do with it.



If you want to borrow it, give me a call.
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