18-04-2019, 04:20 PM
452
Re: Let's have a laugh
An Irish Court Case...The judge says to a double-homicide defendant... "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."
A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!"
The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."
The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You rotten bastard!"
The judge stops and says to Paddy in the back of the courtroom. "Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes, but no more outbursts from you, or I'll charge you with contempt... Is that understood?"
Paddy stands up and says, "I'm sorry, Your Honour , but for fifteen years I've lived next door to that bastard, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one."
18-04-2019, 06:01 PM
453
Re: Let's have a laugh
Originally Posted by Richmond
->
An Irish Court Case...The judge says to a double-homicide defendant... "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."
A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!"
The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."
The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You rotten bastard!"
The judge stops and says to Paddy in the back of the courtroom. "Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes, but no more outbursts from you, or I'll charge you with contempt... Is that understood?"
Paddy stands up and says, "I'm sorry, Your Honour , but for fifteen years I've lived next door to that bastard, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one."
25-04-2019, 10:44 PM
455
Re: Let's have a laugh
Originally Posted by Mr Ploppy
->
ATTORNEY:* Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS:* * *All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
26-04-2019, 10:39 AM
459
Re: Let's have a laugh
A man goes to his doctor "Doctor I have this terrible pain that goes up my right arm, across my chest and down my left arm, It,s agony, what can you do for me" The doctor gives him a good examination. "Tell me how often do you get this pain that goes up your right arm, across your chest and down your left arm?" "Every few minutes" the man says. "Well I am very sorry" the doctor replies "But the only cure that I can see is to have your testicles removed" "Oh my God" the man says, "I am only twenty five, that is my sex life ruined,"The doctor said "It,s up to you You can either put up with the pain going up your right arm, across you chest and down your left arm or have the operation" The man decided to have the operation but before that he would take his beautiful wife away for a week and spend the whole time having sex. He had the operation but he became so moody. After a while his wife said "You are losing the will to live" she said "Go into town, get yourself a tailor made suit and we will go away for a week or so and try and forget"
He went to the tailors and was being measured up for his new suit. "Which side do you dress?" the tailor asked. "What do you mean" the man said " The tailor replied "Which side do your testicles hang?" "What difference does that make" the man said. "Well if they hang the wrong side" The tailor replied "You will get an awful pain go up your right arm across your chest and down your left arm"
|
|
