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20-09-2020, 10:33 PM
16181

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

My dear old grandmother used to tell the older brother and me ghost stories at bed time, some people might think that strange but fair play to her, we both grew up scared of nothing supernatural, she used to say that it’s only the living that can harm you, and when you think about it that’s the truth.
One thing she particularly pointed out to us was never to tempt evil, evil exists and should be fought not encouraged.

For instance I would never mess about with a ouija board, or anything to do with summoning up evil, I prefer to let the hare sit where evil is concerned, avoid it whenever possible.

I remember as a youth of 18, when six of us lads went on a weekend trip to county Cork, we stayed in a very old mansion that was once owned by a judge back in the early 1700’s, we were told that this judge was an evil man and had dozens of peasants hanged for petty offences.

Now you can believe this or not, it’s no skin off my nose, but it is a fact, and three of those lads are alive today and would gladly verify it.

The place had been converted into an hotel when we were there, around 1964, very high ceilings all decorated with ornate plaster work, we were billeted three to a room. It was in late September and we got the weekend at a very reasonable rate, but the weather was woeful.
On our first night there a storm was raging outside, torrential rain and the wind was very high.

After we finished dinner we all went into the huge bar where we all got slightly pissed, one of the lads went up to his room and came back down with a ouija board and five of them (I made my excuses to abstain and went to sit at the bar) sat around the table, they couldn’t decide who to summon up until one of them suggested the obvious, “lucifer’”
They got as far as the letter “C” when suddenly a huge section of the ceiling plaster collapsed missing the table by inches! This big lump of plaster was about six feet square and must have weighed a ton, it surely would have flattened the table and all those sitting around it.
God forgive me but all I could do was laugh at the look on all of their faces, talk about shock!
We got a few rounds of free drinks from the management and a couple of quid knocked off our bill, we were quite happy with that, but that was in the days before folks put in “claims” for everything.

Here’s my favourite celebrity “singing” “That Old Black Magic”, and deliberately making a mess of it, but I’d sooner look at her ruining it than look at ol’ blue eyes singing it properly any day.

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22-09-2020, 10:16 PM
16182

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Just to take you out of suspense, all ye who are biting your nails awaiting news from the Hadron Collider, I googled the latest news, albeit over it’s a year and a half old now.
Notice how it “just happened” to go out of service just as they were about to return to “work’ after the long festive holidays, handy that.

24 January 2019
“The LHC lies dormant, its superconducting magnets drained of liquid helium to be brought back to room temperature. Along with the rest of CERN’s accelerator complex, the LHC entered long-shutdown two (LS2) on 10 December.”
“During the next two years of long-shutdown two (LS2), the LHC and its injectors will be tuned up for high-luminosity operations: Linac2 will leave the floor to Linac4 to enable more intense beams; the Proton Synchrotron Booster will be equipped with completely new injection and acceleration systems; and the Super Proton Synchrotron will have new radio-frequency power. The LHC is also being tested for operation at its design energy of 14 TeV, while, in the background, civil-engineering works for the high-luminosity upgrade (HL-LHC), due to enter service in 2026, are proceeding apace.”

It’s very important for them to call long shutdown 2 “LS2”, the idea behind that is to confuse the layperson into thinking LS2 is something technical, secretive and way above their heads, so they won’t ask awkward questions like “what the hell are you all doing anyway?” sort of like when the bishop asked the boy he was confirming did he understand the mystery of the three divine persons in the one God, the boy looked at him surprised and said “Your not supposed to understand it your grace, it’s a mystery”

I was surprised to see Linac2 having to leave the floor to let Linac 4 take over, what happened to Linac3? However it was a stroke of genius to suggest installing new injection and acceleration systems to the Proton Synchrotron booster, nice one lads, that’s good for another 2 billion grant at least.

Well I hope that helps to bring you up to date, it left me drained trying to figure it out, I need a refill, I’m way above room temperature and it’s not liquid helium I’ll be needing.

I remember a Frenchman telling me that old guillotine operators never die, they just head-off into the Sunset.
Oh God!, I think it’s time for me tablet again.

Well here she is, 5 billion quids worth of junk lying idle.

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26-09-2020, 09:50 PM
16183

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

I’m beginning to accept that this Covid 19 thing is here to stay, just like the flu that keeps changing it’s makeup every few years, we’ll just have to deal with it in our own individual ways and to hell with the governments ever changing advice, I think it’s a real case of “Lord forgive them, for they know not what they do”

I got a really bad dose of the flu back in the 1980’s, it was so bad that as I lay in bed I wanted to die there and then, my whole body was just one big lump of aching sweating flesh, breathing was murder, I really wanted out at any cost, but I recovered without hospitalisation and the tender care of a loving wife, and (tip wood) I never got the flu again since, colds yes, but never the flu, never had the flu vaccine either and I won’t take a new one for this virus, if it gets me it gets me and thats it, something has to kill you, as the boxer said “If the right one don’t get ya then the left one will”

My daughter has just left, she came to visit us by bus, she had a fall last week when out walking her dog, broke a small bone in her foot and was told not to attempt to drive for many weeks to come, she’s out of work and hobbling along with crutches, they don’t use plaster casts anymore, they provide you with this huge boot thing and you keep your foot in it for as long as you can without removing it, horrible looking yoke it is too, she was not amused when she was leaving and I starting singing singing “These boots are made for walking”
However I walked her up to the bus stop and she was in great spirits when the bus came after a few minutes.

The bit of good news is that me tomatoes are finally starting to turn red, must have been the bit of sunshine we had for the last week or so, I was beginning to give up all hope for them, not a bad little crop from a few seeds either, there’s more in the small plastic greenhouse.
The wind was playing havoc with them too so the wife tied up a lot of the vines to stop them swinging in the breeze and falling off. hence all the strings, more strings that the Halle orchestra.
I’m new to all this, but I’ll have to organise that patch of ground better next year, everything was done in a hurry this year on account of the plague, didn’t even get any cucumbers planted after the lovely crop of them the wife had in the greenhouse last year.

That particular piece of ground if very fertile, it was the wife’s family dogs graveyard since the house was built in 1930, I believe there are altogether about twelve faithfully departed canines resting deep below the surface, fair play to them, they makes great man ure.


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26-09-2020, 10:02 PM
16184

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Strange, we have LS2, and HS2, both lame ducks, if we are lucky.
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27-09-2020, 09:40 PM
16185

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Originally Posted by spitfire ->
Strange, we have LS2, and HS2, both lame ducks, if we are lucky.
Sadly I think we'll have a LS3 and LS4 too before we get a real grip on this thing.

My seven year old grandson was over with us today, hadn’t seen him for a good while, he had learned a new rhyme in school and wanted to recite it to the wife and me, it was that very old Scottish one “Wee Willie Winkle”, same one I learned in school when I was his age, strange that.
Anyway he was as proud as punch as he reeled off the first three verses of it complete with the actions.

That reminded of of that old rocker dubbed “Britains Wild Man of Rock”N’Roll”
Wee Willie Harris.
My God Wee Willie had some energy for such a little fella, pity he never made it to the big time, but he’s still going strong at the age of 87, well they do say it’s the old dog for the long road eh.

“Born in Bermondsey, Harris left his job at a Peek Freans bakery in London to start his music career.[2] He began performing at The 2i's Coffee Bar in Soho, London,[2] where he was the resident piano player, performing with Tommy Steele, Adam Faith, Screaming Lord Sutch and others. He was named for his 5' 2" height.[3] In November 1957, he was picked by the TV producer, Jack Good, to appear in the BBC show Six-Five Special. His appearances on the show led to concerns being expressed in the media about the BBC's role in "promoting teenage decadence".[4] His debut single, the self-penned "Rockin' At the 2 I's", was released on the Decca label in December 1957, and was followed by several others, although none reached the UK Singles Chart.” Wiki.


Here’s a good clear video of Willie in action.

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27-09-2020, 10:46 PM
16186

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Suited and Booted, those were the days.
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29-09-2020, 10:08 PM
16187

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

I see there’s a very interesting thread about dating women in general chat, a bit too serious for an old lad like me to get involved though, I likes the quiet life.
I gave up trying to figure women out many years ago, there’s no point in it, they have their own methods and ways of thinking that only they understand, it’s really a woman’s thing, but we still love ‘em, and long live love.

If you want to get some idea of how a woman ticks, I always remember that old joke, where the milk delivery man hears a loud noise “Boom boom boom” every time he leaves the milk outside the monastery walls, it’s beginning to drive him nuts with curiosity so he knocks on the door and asks the monk what the noise is, the monk replies “You have to be a monk to know” and slams the door.

The story can be dragged out and go on and on, depending on the mood of the listener, so i’ll just give you a very condensed version.

Eventually the milkman decides to pack in his job and become a monk, his ordination day keeps getting put back for petty reasons, and every time he asks about the daily noise he’s told “You have to be a monk to know, wait till you are ordained my son”
In the meantime he’s losing weight and he’s only a shell of his former self.

Finally 30 years after he entered the order, the day of his ordination arrives and after the ceremony he is taken down a long corridor led by the abbot, the noise gets louder and louder as he reaches the door at the end, the abbot swings the door open and there facing him is the source of the loud noise that has been tormenting the poor fellow for over 30 long years.

What was it?, your listener will ask impatiently. Then you just smile and say “You have to be a monk to know”.

And that’s exactly how it is with women, you have to be a woman to know.
They are a mystery, and what’s life without it’s many mysteries…dull, very dull.

Ah it’s a long time since I heard this, me granny used to play it on her old radiogram when I was a boy, I know it all by heart, and many’s the Saturday night I sang it for my dear Uncle Joe and his mates when he brought them home for a sing-song.
The singer here sings about a mysterious box he finds and can’t get rid or it, sorta like a nagging wife in Ireland when there was no divorce, tough luck, you made your bed now lie on it as the old ones used to say back then.


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29-09-2020, 10:15 PM
16188

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Yep, dear Uncle Joe, the mind boggles.
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30-09-2020, 10:24 PM
16189

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Originally Posted by spitfire ->
Yep, dear Uncle Joe, the mind boggles.
Yes Spitty, but MY Uncle Joe worked in a hush hush government department… the National library, he was the chief hush husher, and everything was on a ‘need to know’ basis, because everyone who went there needed to know something, I believe that was the whole idea of having libraries.

That takes me back to my youth, and the first time I met Amber Page, a young library trainee introduced to me by Joe, she was learning the noble art of book binding and the restoration of old valuable volumes, the repair crew were nicknamed “The yellow page mob”

Amber was a very energetic well built girl and a keep fit fanatic, whereas I was a skinny lazy lad who spent his whole working day sitting at a bench, a bad match from the word go and it was bound to end in disaster, in fact it nearly dis-arced me.

That finally came about one night when she was working late behind closed doors in the library, she had rang me earlier and asked me to come to the side door of the building marked “Staff Only” and knock three times, then she would know who it was and let me in, the four night watchmen would be playing cards upstairs as usual and she would be alone in the basement where she worked, an evening of unbridled passion was promised.

When she let me in she was wearing a tiny mini skirt and a low cut blouse, she looked great and was very keen to get down to business.
As I put my arms around her I happened to notice an old volume lying on a bench entitled “The Reproductive Cycle of the Common Rodent” 1745 by Hardy Rathbone, amazing what turns on these keep fit types.

As our passion progressed she guided me towards another bench where my naked bum touched a large electric iron she had left on, she used this to straighten out old pages, and I let out an unmerciful yelp, immediate deflation and that was the and of that, I was in agony for days afterwards and the awkward part was having to make up excuses to friends and relatives who enquired why I was walking around like a Penguin.

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30-09-2020, 10:37 PM
16190

Re: Leisurely Scribbles (part 5)

Yep, its hard to "Strike" when the Iron is Hot.
 

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