Nom, that's hilarious

Guess you're in BIG trouble now..

Codswallop it all started at the OFF Christmas party, and as usual Lead by the Dark Mod M, things got rather out of control.

After parking their broom sticks the coven held a meeting to reaffirm to try and dominate the world. Not being as clever or strong as men they decided to try their luck with poinkers. Only the four Offers of the Apocalypse, could manage too lift one, and it was then decided to allow initiations to novices, after said initiation said newbies were allowed pillows as the poor things are just to weak.

Every now and then when the moon is full they decant to a dark forest, here they perform there rites. Dancing starkers round their handbags to the sound of YMCA.

Now this is a sight you must avoid, if you have curly hair it will straiten it, and if you have straight hair it will curl it.

Of course they practice evil and hate all blokes, and spend time chanting about separating men from their cash and sticking their poinkers (knitting needles) into voodoo type dolls.

Afterwards they need to rest so they retire to a cake shop for tea and battenburg.

Brace yourself
Flex your digit
Poink, straight and true!

All of this story is completely fictitious and bears no resemblance to any person or happening ever!
“Poinking” is a virtual poke in the eye, used to convey annoyance and should never be used in real life! (Especially on lions)

I looked it up in the dictionary & I can't say what it means on here, but I had never heard of it before. Have I led a sheltered life then?

me too!

ETA
Well, something sexual. Who'd have thought?