no love - stick or twist in a relationship - wrightstuff debate today

no love - stick or twist in a relationship - wrightstuff debate today 15.02.18
　
not going to use misogyny
up most respect for the lady
confusion leaves one open to monogamy
lack of love equals standing up is no slim shady.
you have to be committed
love is never the ration
every road may not be gritted
but whats the point if no passion.
not going to stick
going to find the love of my life
hopefully no sl?t drop like a brick
twisting on rush hour will get me a wife.
　
( gone 6 pm and thinking about last debate on the best morning tv show - ( wrightstuff 915am ch5 every weekday morning) the debate was all about staying in a relationship even if no love is in the heart ! as hard as it may be i would say you have to break as the sadness will eat away at you and that will eventually destroy you. and if you are single and like poetry - i might just be waiting for you with open arms. all nut cases stay off my thread. thanking you. )

Re: no love - stick or twist in a relationship - wrightstuff debate today

This scenario is usually not straightforward Oldfool.
People can stop loving each other for countless reasons.
Sometimes no one is particularly to blame, sometimes one partner definitely is, and other times maybe they are equally to blame.

You say about the sadness will eventually eat away at you, and I agree, but I also think a little broader than that, and think of both parties, not just ourself.
By staying, you could also be denying your partner the chance of being happy again with someone else too, so maybe by staying you are just making each other miserable when it isn't necessary.
And what about if there are children involved?

When my first marriage broke up many years ago, my son was only 6 years old. My parents said couldn't we stay together for my little boy. I remember saying I would rather him come from a 'broken home' than live in one.

Maybe because we split when we did, before things got bitter and full of hatred like some couples, we were able to stay close friends forever, right up until he died just before last Christmas. I will always remember him with love.

My son always lived with me, but saw plenty of his Dad, and said something which touched my heart recently - he said that he had always felt loved by both of us.

Like I said at the beginning though, each case is different.

Re: no love - stick or twist in a relationship - wrightstuff debate today

mups that's beautiful and I was just exploring love but like you - if you do not love its best to end and is least damaging.

how I wish I did not love poetry and it is destroying me.

you had very powerful words in your peace and so clear to read mups so thank you.

Re: no love - stick or twist in a relationship - wrightstuff debate today

Oh, . . . thank you Oldfool.
That is kind of you.


May I ask why you say poetry is destroying you?
If it is too personal, don't worry.

Re: no love - stick or twist in a relationship - wrightstuff debate today

Mups: That was a very open, practical and sensible approach. The last paragraph says it all - well done to you and your ex for making the right decision and - making it work for all of you.

OldFool - please don't ever stop writing your poems. It is not everyone that can read a news headline and make it into a verse. That is really clever.

Re: no love - stick or twist in a relationship - wrightstuff debate today

I think there's an enormous difference between being in love and loving someone, and even liking them. In a long marriage I've found we cycle through those things almost daily !

I also think I admire anyone puts their children first. Having said that I wish my parents had split up, but they had gone way past love into hate. Everything was a problem each conversation ended in violence, so they'd have been better apart, but if they'd been able to be nice to each other and still parented then that's IMO to be admired.

Actually raising a family usually ends at some point themselves the time to split if you really can't live together happily IMO

Re: no love - stick or twist in a relationship - wrightstuff debate today

I agree Mups. I think the answer is to be honest with each other.

Re: no love - stick or twist in a relationship - wrightstuff debate today

That is precisely what I feel is meant earlier Julie, when my parents would have prerferred us to stay together for my little boy's sake.

I believe it does more lasting harm to children when they are forced to live in a broken home with parents who fight all the time. Children see, hear and store that period of their life.
The parents make each other unhappy, then inflict their troubles onto the children too. It's wrong IMO.
Better to go separate ways as long as it is handled sensibly.

What I also don't like is when one parent tries to turn the child against the other parent by telling them bad things about them.

Re: no love - stick or twist in a relationship - wrightstuff debate today

Thanks dongles. It worked for us anyway, and I'm so glad we always stayed good friends.
He even helped me when I moved in here, and when he moved to Scotland a couple of years ago, we still kept in touch. He never remarried.

Also, in all the years I knew him, he always remembered my birthday still, and sent me a card every single year.
I felt very sad last December because he had only just died, and it was the first birthday I never heard from him since I was 16 years old.

Re: no love - stick or twist in a relationship - wrightstuff debate today

I'm of the opinion when splits occur any parent bad mouthing the other should be admonished by the court possible loose parental rights, they are using the child as a weapon not putting them first.

Seeing a couple we know divorce I think their arrangement is great they parent 50/50 two weeks in one home two weeks in the other. The children really see each parent at their best and worst themselves .