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Dextrous63
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Dextrous63 is offline
Manchester, UK
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Posts: 7,727
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10-04-2019, 07:17 PM
431

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Mr Ploppy ->
Yossel Zelkovitz worked in a Polish pickle factory.
For many years, he had a powerful, almost uncontrollable desire
to put his penis in the pickle slicer.

Unable to stand it any longer, he finally sought
professional help from the factory psychologist. After six
months of intense therapy, however, the frustrated therapist
gave up. He then advised Yossel to go ahead and do it,
otherwise he would probably never have any peace of mind.

The next day Yossel came home from work very early. His
wife, Sacha, became alarmed and wanted to know what had
happened.

For the first time, Yossel tearfully confessed to her his
tormenting desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. He
went on to explain that today he finally went ahead and did
it, and he was immediately fired.

Sacha gasped and ran over to her husband. She quickly
yanked down his pants and shorts only to find a normal,
completely-intact penis.

She looked up and said, "I don't understand. What about the
pickle slicer?"

Yossel replied, "I think she got fired, too."
Outstanding
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Judd
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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Posts: 12,538
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10-04-2019, 07:39 PM
432

Re: Let's have a laugh

News paper ad: "Dial Sexy, local rate calls"
Woman on phone: "Good afternoon, Dyslexia help line"
Caller: "Oh bollocks"....
Dextrous63
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Dextrous63 is offline
Manchester, UK
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Posts: 7,727
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11-04-2019, 09:03 AM
433

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Judd ->
News paper ad: "Dial Sexy, local rate calls"
Woman on phone: "Good afternoon, Dyslexia help line"
Caller: "Oh bollocks"....
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Mr Ploppy
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Mr Ploppy is offline
Perth Western Australia, 3rd house on the right
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 8,791
Mr Ploppy is male  Mr Ploppy has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
11-04-2019, 09:55 AM
434

Re: Let's have a laugh

[QUOTE=Judd;1681630]News paper ad: "Dial Sexy, local rate calls"
I didn't get the joke, call me 'slow'. But whenever I dial 'sexy' they want my credit card numbers.
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Mr Ploppy
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Mr Ploppy is offline
Perth Western Australia, 3rd house on the right
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 8,791
Mr Ploppy is male  Mr Ploppy has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
11-04-2019, 10:03 AM
435

Re: Let's have a laugh

Have I done this one before? Can't remember. Bugger, here it is again.

So, Jesus walks into a hotel with a handful of nails and asks the clerk, "Hey, can you put me up for the night?"
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Judd
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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Judd is male  Judd has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
14-04-2019, 01:53 PM
436

Re: Let's have a laugh

My wife asked me to put tomato ketchup on the shopping list that I was writing out.

I can't read a damned word on it now.
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Richmond
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United Kingdom
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 1,351
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14-04-2019, 04:01 PM
437

Re: Let's have a laugh

The boss of a small company was complaining during a staff meeting that people didn’t respect him enough. So to try and change this behaviour in the office, he came in the next day, and placed a sign on his door.
It said: “I am the boss, so respect me.”
One of the employees stuck a post-it-note on the sign.
It said: “Your wife wants her sign back!”
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Mr Ploppy
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Mr Ploppy is offline
Perth Western Australia, 3rd house on the right
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15-04-2019, 07:44 AM
438

Re: Let's have a laugh

Nice one Rich.

Blonde to her friend:"*I have to be really careful not to get pregnant." Her friend:" But didn't your husband get a vasectomy done recently?" " Yes, exactly, that's why..."
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Judd
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West Riding of Yorkshire
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Posts: 12,538
Judd is male  Judd has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
15-04-2019, 12:29 PM
439

Re: Let's have a laugh

Originally Posted by Mr Ploppy ->
Nice one Rich.

Blonde to her friend:"*I have to be really careful not to get pregnant." Her friend:" But didn't your husband get a vasectomy done recently?" " Yes, exactly, that's why..."
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Judd
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Judd is offline
West Riding of Yorkshire
Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 12,538
Judd is male  Judd has posted at least 25 times and has been a member for 3 months or more 
 
15-04-2019, 12:33 PM
440

Re: Let's have a laugh

Joan Collins forced to flee fire:

The funeral director has had to make a formal apology as he could have sworn she was dead.
 
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