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27-08-2019, 06:45 AM
1

Does counselling really work ?

Another sickening story of child sexual abuse .
In this report the child was not really physically hurt but has been said to have received counciling .
As the child a little girl is only three would it not be better to minimise the incident and have her forget that it happened ?
Does counciling really work ?

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ng-jailed.html
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keezoy
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27-08-2019, 07:12 AM
2

Re: Does counselling really work ?

I will take the time to take your question seriously and answer it properly. I will say that counselling often does fail. But in my experience it does for many reasons. It could fail because of the counsellor taking the wrong approach, being incompetent or unqualified; not having a thorough diagnosis of the presenting problem in a referral or not being briefed properly by a doctor, nurse, lawyer police etc. It could fail because the client or patient does not or cannot participate in the counselling process because of immaturity ( in the case of a child) mental incapacity or psychiatric illness or simply that the client is there against their will. There are many other situations where counselling is inappropriately offered or imposed. THis happens a lot in the case of trauma and critical incident where companies employ an army of counsellors who offer their services to industries and emergency services orgs. Often these outfits are not much more than ambulance chasers who's main aim is to charge a huge yearly fee to clients so their counsellors can be available a moment's notice if needed. Trouble is they are often only giving a few sessions then the client has to pay themselves. Sometimes traumatic incidents take years of good therapy to come to terms with. Not 6 sessions that will jst open the can of worms and leave the client floundering. In my time I have also had the privilege to work with and learn from some brilliant clinicians who have helped many people and also been great teachers. I could go on but I will say that it is really impossible to answer a huge question like this. The more you learn the more you realise just how much you don't know - especially about human nature and emotions. But I will say that I think counselling does work. Like everything else if it's the right person doing it and that person takes care not to do more damage than good. And I certainly think that if somebody says that they want to deal with a problem themselves with the support of their family or significant others, That should be respected.Especially with children. Counselling will NEVER work if the client/ patient doesn't want to be there. In the case of this #%$@ He belongs in court then prison. The girl is remarkable. She should receive every type of care appropriate to her age. Sometimes 3 year olds are able to benefit from talking to a sensitive professional. I have never worked with children this young. I couldn't comment. I hope this helps. Happy to elaborate on anything.
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27-08-2019, 07:43 AM
3

Re: Does counselling really work ?

Hi I knew the spelling didnít look quite right !
Between me and my iPad we generally get things wrong .

So really it depends on the circumstances I suppose and the persons character some may benefit others not.
Itís the reliving of some traumatic incident that worries me .
If the mind forgets surely it is to protect itself ?



In the case of this little girl would it had been better if the father had just said what a nasty man and made little of it to the child ?
On the other hand then the man may have got away with it.

They were of course right to pursue the perpetrator and it is quite frightening how these people get themselves employed - with all the police checks that people need these days .Personally I would not have left two little girls unattended in that way -if the security guard could take her so easily anyone could and the outcome may have been even sadder .
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27-08-2019, 07:56 AM
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Re: Does counselling really work ?

Originally Posted by Muddy ->
Hi I knew the spelling didnít look quite right !
Between me and my iPad we generally get things wrong .

So really it depends on the circumstances I suppose and the persons character some may benefit others not.
Itís the reliving of some traumatic incident that worries me .
If the mind forgets surely it is to protect itself ?



In the case of this little girl would it had been better if the father had just said what a nasty man and made little of it to the child ?
On the other hand then the man may have got away with it.

They were of course right to pursue the perpetrator and it is quite frightening how these people get themselves employed - with all the police checks that people need these days .Personally I would not have left two little girls unattended in that way -if the security guard could take her so easily anyone could and the outcome may have been even sadder .
Wot you sed.
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27-08-2019, 08:18 AM
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Re: Does counselling really work ?

Originally Posted by Muddy ->
Hi I knew the spelling didnít look quite right !
Between me and my iPad we generally get things wrong .

So really it depends on the circumstances I suppose and the persons character some may benefit others not.
Itís the reliving of some traumatic incident that worries me .
If the mind forgets surely it is to protect itself ?



In the case of this little girl would it had been better if the father had just said what a nasty man and made little of it to the child ?
On the other hand then the man may have got away with it.

They were of course right to pursue the perpetrator and it is quite frightening how these people get themselves employed - with all the police checks that people need these days .Personally I would not have left two little girls unattended in that way -if the security guard could take her so easily anyone could and the outcome may have been even sadder .
Very true!

Also - given that it happened in 2016 and the child is now in Primary School - why is the mother still going on about it? She says it has 'totally destroyed their peaceful family life" - it could only do that if she allowed it to. Is she not keeping it alive in all their minds instead of letting it go and moving on?

It was a horrid thing to happen - but - the man is, rightfully, in gaol, Surely the most healing thing to do for the child now is to let her forget about it.
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27-08-2019, 09:08 AM
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Re: Does counselling really work ?

Originally Posted by Muddy ->
Another sickening story of child sexual abuse .
In this report the child was not really physically hurt but has been said to have received counciling .
As the child a little girl is only three would it not be better to minimise the incident and have her forget that it happened ?
Does counciling really work ?

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ng-jailed.html
I wouldn't have forgotten it if that had happened to me at that age, I can even remember being in the maternity hospital when I was born.
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27-08-2019, 09:46 AM
7

Re: Does counselling really work ?

Children at such a young age do not forget. What happens is there within them .

Take how much a child learns from birth to 5yrs , they absorb everything and 3 yrs is apparently the most receptive of all.
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keezoy
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27-08-2019, 11:05 AM
8

Re: Does counselling really work ?

What comes before everything is that everybody is a unique individual. People - including children - all react to traumatic incidents different ways. Yes there are some reactions that appear common to most victims of trauma. My golden rule is after careful observation/ examination, a person appears to be coping with the resources they already have available to them..family, friends etc, let them cope. That does not mean telling them to go home and forget it. It means making sure they have access to the appropriate services/ treatments and help if they (or their carers) feel they are needed. The counsellor may feel it's appropriate to let a person know some of the things they may experience down the track - flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigilance, sleep disturbance and other symptoms of stress or anxiety. People often feel very unsafe after an incident. Normal defence mechanisms and are torn away. The normal way that we assume the world is a safe place so we can function is stolen to a degree. There are so many ways that a good counsellor can attenuate some of these symptoms. But it is equally wise to take the attitude that "If it ain't broke..Don't try to fix it" Anybody can provide a degree of positive help to somebody who has been hurt in some way. Just listen. Don't try to "solve" their problem. Don't judge. Don't give "advice" Don't try to be an expert. And don't say "I know how you feel" Even if you have been through what they have. You haven't been through it..as them. Just listen. And ask them what they want.
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27-08-2019, 12:35 PM
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Re: Does counselling really work ?

Originally Posted by Puddle Duck ->
Children at such a young age do not forget. What happens is there within them .

Take how much a child learns from birth to 5yrs , they absorb everything and 3 yrs is apparently the most receptive of all.
Apparently they do at times ( although the jesuits donít believe it ) there is such a thing as childhood amnesia after which a child starts to forget early memories .
I donít know how true this is .
I have some early pre seven memories but very few.
I was smacked day 2 at school ( aged 4) for not putting my chair on the table or some small infraction .

( my mum came into school and told the teacher off)
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Muddy
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27-08-2019, 12:41 PM
10

Re: Does counselling really work ?

Originally Posted by keezoy ->
What comes before everything is that everybody is a unique individual. People - including children - all react to traumatic incidents different ways. Yes there are some reactions that appear common to most victims of trauma. My golden rule is after careful observation/ examination, a person appears to be coping with the resources they already have available to them..family, friends etc, let them cope. That does not mean telling them to go home and forget it. It means making sure they have access to the appropriate services/ treatments and help if they (or their carers) feel they are needed. The counsellor may feel it's appropriate to let a person know some of the things they may experience down the track - flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigilance, sleep disturbance and other symptoms of stress or anxiety. People often feel very unsafe after an incident. Normal defence mechanisms and are torn away. The normal way that we assume the world is a safe place so we can function is stolen to a degree. There are so many ways that a good counsellor can attenuate some of these symptoms. But it is equally wise to take the attitude that "If it ain't broke..Don't try to fix it" Anybody can provide a degree of positive help to somebody who has been hurt in some way. Just listen. Don't try to "solve" their problem. Don't judge. Don't give "advice" Don't try to be an expert. And don't say "I know how you feel" Even if you have been through what they have. You haven't been through it..as them. Just listen. And ask them what they want.
Good post .
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