03-09-2012, 02:03 PM
32
Re: ARCHIEs DIARY (Archie is Robert's ginger tom)
I have bad news, Robert is paving over the back garden. Not him, some hired menThis may seem insignificant to everyone concerned, but it is horribly inconvenient for me.
Where will I crap from now on, all the nice soft soil will be gone, its not the same using those silly trays with fullers earth in them.
I suppose you may be wondering how I know its fullers earth. I figure if you really think that I, Archie, a dumb animal with no secretarial skills can produce this diary every few days, it only takes another step of disbelief to accept I know all about fullers earth.
Anyway, I will have to scale the 6ft fence once more to relieve my self in dear Cynthia’s garden. What’s that you say, cats never spoil their own doorstep, this boy does.
I have bad news, Robert is paving over the back garden. Not him, some hired men
This may seem insignificant to everyone concerned, but it is horribly inconvenient for me.
Where will I crap from now on, all the nice soft soil will be gone, its not the same using those silly trays with fullers earth in them.
I suppose you may be wondering how I know its fullers earth. I figure if you really think that I, Archie, a dumb animal with no secretarial skills can produce this diary every few days, it only takes another step of disbelief to accept I know all about fullers earth.
Anyway, I will have to scale the 6ft fence once more to relieve my self in dear Cynthia’s garden. What’s that you say, cats never spoil their own doorstep, this boy does.
Oberon has been put in a cattery, they send him there every year for a period while they are away sailing. Its not so bad in the cattery, Oberon says that if you drop your soap in the shower be very careful who is about before you pick it up.
Since the developments in the back garden I have begun a series of wildcat strikes, and sitting on the mans chair. You should see the hairs on his track suit bottoms, it looks more like a cat suit.
I cant believe I said that.
Oberon has been put in a cattery, they send him there every year for a period while they are away sailing. Its not so bad in the cattery, Oberon says that if you drop your soap in the shower be very careful who is about before you pick it up.
Since the developments in the back garden I have begun a series of wildcat strikes, and sitting on the mans chair. You should see the hairs on his track suit bottoms, it looks more like a cat suit.
I cant believe I said that.
05-09-2012, 09:09 PM
37
Re: ARCHIEs DIARY (Archie is Robert's ginger tom)
I am ill, I just hope they have kept up the insurance payments, I can be very expensive, especially if I give em the run-around at the vet. I haven’t forgiven him yet for relieving me of my crown jewels.. I am not seriously ill, its just a hairball, but I am milking it for attention. Here comes the man, over I go on my side moaning and looking forlorn and pathetic. Well;, nadger me noolies, he brushed me to one side, the great clod. Just for that I will do my business on his new herb patch.There aren’t any cats around here theses days, apart from Oberon and me. Its no fun these days not having new cats trying it on with me. I am bigger than any of these puny ones around here. The truth is that I just cant be bothered to go looking for trouble. I have had my 15 minutes of fame.Oh he’s waddling back in again from the garden. OOPs he has seen the herb garden , time to be off.
05-09-2012, 09:10 PM
38
Re: ARCHIEs DIARY (Archie is Robert's ginger tom)
I just found out what the humans do in that little room. It is always closed except for when they are going in or coming out. It is really odd. They never go in together even though there is enough room. Robert goes in first and after making the noises like thunderclaps and there is water everywhere and splashing sounds.He’ll shout “ I have cut myself again” and there’ll dull thuds , hopping sounds, whistling, news paper rustling and then he comes with a loud sigh, saying,
“ That’s better” How all that equates to that’s better I cannot fathom. Then , I have to run because he flicks water at me with his hands. Not today though, he must have forgotten me and nearly fell down the stairs again after tripping over me.
05-09-2012, 10:05 PM
39
Re: ARCHIEs DIARY (Archie is Robert's ginger tom)
I see you've nicked Robert's keyboard again, Archie. I've nicked hers as well. You're a naughty boy, but you do make me laugh.Have you ever tried tripping Robert up by winding your body round his legs when he's walking, or nonchalantly grabbing his feet whilst you pretend to be asleep on the mat? It's a good game that one, but I haven't quite managed to leg her up yet. Must try harder.
10-09-2012, 03:17 PM
40
Re: ARCHIEs DIARY (Archie is Robert's ginger tom)
MONDAYI have been practising my all-purpose pleasant look as I now know that that puppy dog thingy belonged to next door . I know this because my cousin Oberon lives nest door and has been putting me in the picture .Poor Oberon!
Oberon is much shorter than me ,in fact he is a bit of a short arse, however, he is still “intactas rearus sphericles”. as he is apt to remind me. “Nil um rearus sphericles, Archie” He is such a Philistine Anyway, the humans went out all day leaving me with no one to practise my all-purpose pleasant look on. Robert looked very pale when they came back. I tried my new look ,but it was wasted on them . So, I carried with scratching the carpet and rubbing hairs off . I have had several scratching posts ,but why go out of my way when I have carpets every where. Here he comes, he must have heard me throwing up on the landing. Temper, temper. I do believe, he called me names. PS,,I over heard them talking about something being so small that you couldn’t swing a cat around in it.
Gulp
|
|
