2008-2011 probably the worst years of my life.
2008 had to stop working due to ill health sat for just over 2yrs in my room like David says found the best way to cope was to get rid of friends and family took whatever the docs were throwing at me in prescribed drugs,could'nt drink my way out of it like I used to in my earlier years of problems because drinking made my breathing worse. I used to stock pile drugs mass's of painkillers/diazepam and sleeping tablets hoping one day I would have the courage. Then got referred to Brompton to sort out my illness and things started to change was given help to get out more with o2 was given the correct meds. Combined with a attitude that I was going to try instead of sitting on my arse and feeling sorry for myself. Bought a dog so that I would have company out there. Over the years my health has improved I became more outward again. Apologised to those I hurt by pushing them away. They were all ok about it thank god.
I sympathize tremendously with people that suffer with depression I think deep down my upbringing has a lot to do with my fighting spirit and of course I am thankful for the help I received from all those around me at the time. But just to show how easy it is to slip back I recently had a run in with a cyclist in my local park and I also had a argument with a friend at the same time.Both times I fell short of my expectations of myself and it sent me spiralling backwards to the point that I stayed in the house and didn't want to venture out again for over a week and once again that inner strength inside pushed me to get my arse out that front door.I am nearly back on top but I reckon it may take at least another week or two before I start feeling calm and at ease and less scared of people around me. I don't have prescribed drugs anymore because I felt they made things worse for me I cleared out my stockpiles about 6mths ago. For me it is all down to will power and of course my little JR who will never stop pestering me to take her out. Also would like to thank most of you for putting up with my music it as meant a great deal to me to be able to post whilst I am sitting at home most days it as helped pass the time away.
Would like to thank David for opening this thread I don't normally open up about my depression because I find it hard but writing about it I find it easier and its also a relief to let things out.