What is the protocol?

I went back on a popular social media site in January, as there was a school reunion coming up and it was a great way to break the ice before the event.
However..
As happened last time there are some past acquaintances now sending messages and friend requests.
One guy in particular is an Ex. I hurt him when I left him 30 years ago and so I'm loathe to go there. Perhaps I'm wrong though. Perhaps he just wants to chat and catch up on things and I know through another friend that he is happily married.
Am I being mean in ignoring his messages?
I really don't know what to do

Re: What is the protocol?

Mmmm, tricky one Rhian. I would certainly respond as he could be quite hurt by your non- response to his hello message. However, I would keep it friendly but a little formal, including the first question I would put after saying Hello and How are you, is 'how is your wife? and the family?' or 'I hope you and your wife are both well'

I know the above is stating the obvious, but at least he will know that you know and assume he is still happily married. Just because he is a man, albeit one you dumped 30 years ago. there is nothing wrong at all with chatting to an old aquaintence. Only if you allow it to proceed any further than friendly chat, will be when the problems start. I'm sure you are savvy enough to gauge things if he starts to get more personal and 'inviting'.

So, I would happily respond and say hello.

Re: What is the protocol?

That is a difficult decision to make Rhian!

He may just see you as an old friend & want to chat about the days gone by, but he may also see you as a lady he liked & wants to spend time with you.

In your position I would exchange a few messages & find out who he married & where they live.... if he is after more than a friendly chat, I always think it is good that they know you can tell their wife.
You can always block contact on social media, if he is after more, but you may enjoy a chat about the old days if he isn't.
I think I would enjoy chatting to an Ex that just wants to catch up with old friends.

Re: What is the protocol?

Tell him you're happily married to a copper.

That should sort it

Re: What is the protocol?

Thank you for your take on it
Yes I think it would be ok to respond as long as it is just chat.

Re: What is the protocol?

It hadn't occurred to me that my non response would be hurtful too!

Re: What is the protocol?

Surely it was impolite to ignore his messages? Far better to communicate with him first by e-mail or whatever, before going to this reunion, rather than having an awkward time when meeting up with him again in person.

Re: What is the protocol?

I like to be polite and answer with a short reply. If l want no more contact, l will just say....
‘Thank You for your message, it was nice of you to get in touch’.
That’s it. If they are bright enough, they will take the hint and not get in touch again. If they’re not and reply, l just ignore any further messages.

If you don’t want to hear from someone again, never ask a question. Give no excuse for a reply.

Re: What is the protocol?

He was not one of my school friends Tara

Re: What is the protocol?

Sorry, I got hold of the wrong end of the stick.