23-01-2021, 01:55 PM
1
Read this if you want a good laugh -hilarious
Just HAD to share this.....Stole this - hilarious! Me and dad can't stop laughingPrimary School Children Writing About The Sea
1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)
2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jamie age 6)
3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island . If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne age 7)
4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)
5) A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on the top of its head. (Billy age 7)
6) My dad goes out in his boat, and comes back with crabs. (Emily age 5)
7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)
8 )I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)
9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)
10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)
11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)
12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.(Becky age 8 )
13) On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny (Julie age 7)
23-01-2021, 07:19 PM
6
Re: Read this if you want a good laugh -hilarious
Excellent!It was the night of open house at my school and I was chatting with a colleague while stapling a stack of my students' stories to the bulletin board. The children had written the stories that afternoon, and I was in a hurry to get them up in time.
In the middle of the conversation, my friend pointed to the board and said, "Um, Surfermom, you might not want to leave that one up." I stood back incredulously and looked at the story, neatly written and topped with a with a brightly colored image of my student with her grandmother holding hands.
The grandmother had been drawn lovingly with a smiling face and wearing a spotted blouse that looked a bit like cow hide. In the story below, the girl described how much she loved her grandmother and that she always associated her with wearing that particular shirt. She described the shirt at length and that, "When I think of my grandmother, I think of her in that cow shirt."
The only problem was that in the dozen times that she had written the word "shirt" she had omitted the "r".
Lesson learned about editing before displaying! I eventually gave the story to the parents, and it is now a family treasure.
23-01-2021, 08:22 PM
7
Re: Read this if you want a good laugh -hilarious
Originally Posted by Surfermom
->
Excellent! It was the night of open house at my school and I was chatting with a colleague while stapling a stack of my students' stories to the bulletin board. The children had written the stories that afternoon, and I was in a hurry to get them up in time.
In the middle of the conversation, my friend pointed to the board and said, "Um, Surfermom, you might not want to leave that one up." I stood back incredulously and looked at the story, neatly written and topped with a with a brightly colored image of my student with her grandmother holding hands.
The grandmother had been drawn lovingly with a smiling face and wearing a spotted blouse that looked a bit like cow hide. In the story below, the girl described how much she loved her grandmother and that she always associated her with wearing that particular shirt. She described the shirt at length and that, "When I think of my grandmother, I think of her in that cow shirt."
The only problem was that in the dozen times that she had written the word "shirt" she had omitted the "r".
Lesson learned about editing before displaying! I eventually gave the story to the parents, and it is now a family treasure.
23-01-2021, 08:47 PM
8
Re: Read this if you want a good laugh -hilarious
Originally Posted by Lion Queen
->
Just HAD to share this.....Stole this - hilarious! Me and dad can't stop laughing Primary School Children Writing About The Sea
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